Fatigue

The wave metaphor for fatigue was true but incomplete. The wave is the crash. Underneath it there is a tide that never leaves, and an undertow that grabs without warning. This is the fuller picture.

Most writing about disabled life focuses on what’s hard. This is what two days where things actually worked looked like for me.

Fatigue from chronic illness doesn’t respond to rest. I picture it as a wave coming toward me. Caffeine, music, a splash of water on my face are my surfboard. Sometimes they hold. Sometimes the wave flings me off anyway.

A personal reflection on why emotional expression can be physically expensive when you are chronically ill, and why quiet does not mean okay.