[{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/accessibility/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Accessibility"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/ai/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"AI"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/automation/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Automation"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/categories/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Categories"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/disability/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Disability"},{"content":"Working at the intersection of faith, technology, and disability advocacy.\nMy work focuses on accessibility as both a technical responsibility and a reflection of care and dignity for all people. Grounded in my experience as a blind, autistic, and chronically ill user, I advocate for systems that are humane, predictable, and inclusive.\nWhat I Focus On # Accessibility \u0026amp; Usability Testing: Professional evaluation of software and digital tools, identifying the real-world barriers that automated testing often misses. Low-Cognitive-Load Systems: Developing and promoting designs that respect a user\u0026rsquo;s sensory needs and mental energy. Self-Paced Systems Learning: Studying Computer Science (Python, SQL, Lua) and Linux systems (Arch/WSL) with an emphasis on keyboard-centric, CLI-driven workflows. Faith-Informed Advocacy: Approaching technology and disability rights through a lens of service and spiritual exploration, currently focused on broader Christian history and Gnosticism. Documenting Barriers: Writing about recurring accessibility challenges in games and interactive media to help developers build better experiences for multiply disabled players. Explore My Work # About Me: My background, current roles, and learning path. Work and Learning: My technical stack, professional testing focus, and active projects. Services: Accessibility, usability, and product feedback services for websites, apps, games, developer tools, and technical workflows. Accessibility Notes: Notes on what does and doesn\u0026rsquo;t work for me in digital products. Tools and Resources: A curated list of tools, platforms, and people that help me manage my life, health, and work. Community: Links to online groups I run. Human Terms: Plain-language explanations of how my conditions affect me. Contact: How to reach me for work, questions, or just to say hi. Writing: Explore my thoughts on Technology, Gaming, Education, and Advocacy. Faith, technology, and disability advocacy - working toward a more accessible world.\nThis site is intentionally small, updated selectively, and designed for clarity over volume.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWorking at the intersection of faith, technology, and disability advocacy.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy work focuses on \u003cstrong\u003eaccessibility\u003c/strong\u003e as both a technical responsibility and a reflection of care and dignity for all\npeople. Grounded in my experience as a blind, autistic, and chronically ill user, I advocate for systems that are\nhumane, predictable, and inclusive.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"what-i-focus-on\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eWhat I Focus On \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#what-i-focus-on\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAccessibility \u0026amp; Usability Testing:\u003c/strong\u003e Professional evaluation of software and digital tools, identifying the\nreal-world barriers that automated testing often misses.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLow-Cognitive-Load Systems:\u003c/strong\u003e Developing and promoting designs that respect a user\u0026rsquo;s sensory needs and mental\nenergy.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSelf-Paced Systems Learning:\u003c/strong\u003e Studying Computer Science (Python, SQL, Lua) and Linux systems (Arch/WSL) with an\nemphasis on keyboard-centric, CLI-driven workflows.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFaith-Informed Advocacy:\u003c/strong\u003e Approaching technology and disability rights through a lens of service and spiritual\nexploration, currently focused on broader Christian history and Gnosticism.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDocumenting Barriers:\u003c/strong\u003e Writing about recurring accessibility challenges in games and interactive media to help\ndevelopers build better experiences for multiply disabled players.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"explore-my-work\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eExplore My Work \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#explore-my-work\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/about/\"\u003eAbout Me\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e My background, current roles, and learning path.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/work-and-learning/\"\u003eWork and Learning\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e My technical stack, professional testing focus, and active projects.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/services/\"\u003eServices\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e Accessibility, usability, and product feedback services for websites, apps, games,\ndeveloper tools, and technical workflows.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/accessibility-notes/\"\u003eAccessibility Notes\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e Notes on what does and doesn\u0026rsquo;t work for me in digital products.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/tools-and-resources/\"\u003eTools and Resources\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e A curated list of tools, platforms, and people that help me manage\nmy life, health, and work.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/community/\"\u003eCommunity\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e Links to online groups I run.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/human-terms/\"\u003eHuman Terms\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e Plain-language explanations of how my conditions affect me.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/contact/\"\u003eContact\u003c/a\u003e:\u003c/strong\u003e How to reach me for work, questions, or just to say hi.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWriting:\u003c/strong\u003e Explore my thoughts on \n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/technology/\"\u003eTechnology\u003c/a\u003e, \n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/gaming/\"\u003eGaming\u003c/a\u003e, \n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/education/\"\u003eEducation\u003c/a\u003e, and\n\n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/advocacy/\"\u003eAdvocacy\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFaith, technology, and disability advocacy - working toward a more accessible world.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Home"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Tags"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/categories/technology/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Technology"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/technology/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Technology"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/technology/","section":"Technology","summary":"","title":"Technology"},{"content":"AI holds a lot of promise for disabled people. For anyone operating a body or a mind in manual mode, these systems can act as a literal cognitive prosthetic. They handle the execution logic that standard environments take for granted; they summarize mountains of dense text, automate multistep system tasks, and keep things moving forward when your own internal CPU cycles are completely saturated. If you\u0026rsquo;ve got a limited energy pool, the idea of offloading your executive function to an intelligent system isn\u0026rsquo;t just a gimmick. It\u0026rsquo;s a baseline accessibility requirement.\nBut there\u0026rsquo;s a structural problem in how the most capable AI tools are currently built and priced. The setups that could help the most, autonomous agents that run persistently in the background, rely on usage-based token models. That architecture works fine if you\u0026rsquo;re an enterprise developer with a corporate credit card, but it falls apart completely when it hits the reality of a fixed income. Many disabled people, including me, live on strict low-income budgets. We don\u0026rsquo;t have infinite reserve capital to fund an erratic API loop.\nThe Illusion of Cheap Tokens #When I first got Hermes Agent set up on my server, I was genuinely excited about the potential. I saw an assistant that could live where I do, learn my style over time, and build its own reusable skills. It felt like the ultimate Franken-System solution. To fund it, I purchased the Nous Portal Plus subscription. It costs twenty dollars a month and gives you twenty-two dollars in automated API credits. Looking at the raw model costs, where input tokens are billed at pennies per million, I thought that balance would easily stretch to cover an entire month of casual daily logging and administrative tasks.\nI was completely wrong. That twenty-two dollar credit didn\u0026rsquo;t last a month; it lasted all of four days.\nThe issue wasn\u0026rsquo;t the complexity of my prompts or the length of the responses. The financial drain is a direct result of how autonomous agent pipelines function under the hood. Every single time an agent executes a turn, it resends a massive payload of background data to the model:\nThe core identity instructions and system files Persistent long-term memory logs and user profiles Full tool indices and hosted skill definitions If your background files and tool definitions take up thirty thousand tokens of base overhead, you\u0026rsquo;re paying that full input tax on every single iteration of a task. A basic multistep research loop or a script debugging session can quietly chew through hundreds of thousands of tokens in minutes. Before you even realize the agent is looping, your budget has triggered a critical overflow.\nThe Trade-Offs of the Flat-Rate Pivot #Moving back to a standard consumer subscription isn\u0026rsquo;t a perfect victory; it\u0026rsquo;s a calculated compromise. When you dismantle a custom agent stack, you lose the precise control that made the system feel like a true extension of your mind. There are clear, frustrating regressions when you return to a standard cloud sandbox:\nConsumer platforms don\u0026rsquo;t maintain long-term context with the same deep, persistent stickiness over time. The environments aren\u0026rsquo;t nearly as customizable, meaning you can\u0026rsquo;t build your own automated skills or run custom Python backend routines. They don\u0026rsquo;t natively hook into the specific command-line utilities, local markdown systems, and tech-support files that build your daily workflow. But right now, I don\u0026rsquo;t have a choice. Technical optimization doesn\u0026rsquo;t matter if the underlying architecture blows up your daily operations. An interface that\u0026rsquo;s highly capable but financially volatile fails the most basic test of assistive technology; it adds stress instead of removing it. Shifting to a fixed, flat-rate model means accepting fewer features and working within a tighter boundary, but it protects the one variable that consumption-based APIs destroy: a predictable budget.\nThe Budget Buffer Overflow #Tearing down an environment that genuinely helped remove daily friction isn\u0026rsquo;t fun, but it\u0026rsquo;s a necessary change. The architecture just isn\u0026rsquo;t sustainable on a fixed budget. If an accessibility tool requires an unpredictable financial tax just to keep the background daemon running, it eventually becomes a source of executive strain instead of relief.\nThe next step isn\u0026rsquo;t giving up on automation; it\u0026rsquo;s changing the infrastructure. I\u0026rsquo;m moving my time-sensitive routines, like daily reminders and medication pings, down to local system cron jobs on my Raspberry Pi where the execution cost is exactly zero. For deep research and ecosystem indexing, I\u0026rsquo;m shifting to flat-rate consumer subscriptions. A fixed monthly fee removes the context window tax entirely, bringing my tech stack back into alignment with my financial boundaries.\n","date":"May 16, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/technology/context-window-tax/","section":"Technology","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAI holds a lot of promise for disabled people. For anyone operating a body or a mind in manual mode, these systems can\nact as a literal cognitive prosthetic. They handle the execution logic that standard environments take for granted; they\nsummarize mountains of dense text, automate multistep system tasks, and keep things moving forward when your own\ninternal CPU cycles are completely saturated. If you\u0026rsquo;ve got a limited energy pool, the idea of offloading your executive\nfunction to an intelligent system isn\u0026rsquo;t just a gimmick. It\u0026rsquo;s a baseline accessibility requirement.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Context Window Tax: Why Autonomous Agents Break Low-Income Budgets"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/workflow/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Workflow"},{"content":"The productivity advice says: use a second brain. Pick a note-taking app, capture everything, link ideas, review weekly. Build a system and trust it.\nI\u0026rsquo;ve tried most of the popular options. Notion collapsed under its own visual complexity. Obsidian\u0026rsquo;s graph view is a spatial nightmare for someone with topographical agnosia. Roam required too much upfront structure on days when I have nothing left for structure. Apple Notes doesn\u0026rsquo;t persist across my fragmented hardware setup.\nThe problem isn\u0026rsquo;t the apps. The problem is that \u0026ldquo;second brain\u0026rdquo; advice is written for people whose first brain works differently than mine. It assumes reliable working memory, the ability to review notes and recognize them as your own, enough executive function to maintain a capture habit, and the stamina to periodically reorganize a growing knowledge base.\nWhen you have multiple cognitive and physical disabilities, those assumptions collapse. What I needed wasn\u0026rsquo;t a note-taking app. I needed a system that could catch what I drop, remember what I forget, act when I can\u0026rsquo;t, and do all of that without requiring manual maintenance from me on my worst days.\nWhat I Use #Pieces MCP Server #Pieces is the backbone of my cross-session memory. Every code snippet I write, every command I run, every note I take in VS Code gets captured and indexed. When I come back to a project after a multi-day gap (which happens constantly with chronic illness), I can ask Pieces what I was working on and get a real answer instead of spending twenty minutes reconstructing context from scratch. It hooks directly into GitHub Copilot via the MCP server, so the AI assistant I\u0026rsquo;m already talking to has access to everything I\u0026rsquo;ve done.\nSupermemory #Supermemory handles the web research layer. When I\u0026rsquo;m reading articles, watching content, or doing deep research on a topic, Supermemory indexes it and makes it retrievable later. This matters because I can\u0026rsquo;t rely on browser history or my own recall. If I read something important two weeks ago, I won\u0026rsquo;t remember the article title, the site, or even the rough content. Supermemory gives me a way to search my own research history semantically, not just by URL or date.\nHermes Agent #Hermes is my Pi-based personal agent. It handles the administrative layer of my life: calendar events, inbox triage, GoFundMe monitoring, and health data logging. Because it runs on my Raspberry Pi 5, it\u0026rsquo;s always available and costs nothing per query. It\u0026rsquo;s not as capable as a cloud-based model, but it doesn\u0026rsquo;t need to be. Its job is to handle the structured, routine tasks that drain my executive function when I try to do them manually.\nVS Code and GitHub Copilot #This is my primary development environment and the main interface I use for cognitive scaffolding. Copilot isn\u0026rsquo;t just autocomplete for me. It\u0026rsquo;s the working memory I don\u0026rsquo;t have. I can partially describe a problem, provide context from Pieces, and have Copilot help me reason through what I\u0026rsquo;m actually trying to do. It reduces the cognitive re-entry cost when I return to a task mid-session.\nHardware Reality #My setup runs on a Raspberry Pi 5 (Hermes server), an old Dell laptop running Windows with WSL (primary dev machine), and an iPhone SE2. This isn\u0026rsquo;t aspirational hardware. It\u0026rsquo;s what I can afford and what works within my accessibility requirements. Any solution I build has to function on this stack.\nSupporting Tools #Guava Health handles symptom and medication tracking. Sophtron connects to my financial accounts so I can pull structured spending and balance data without navigating inaccessible bank interfaces. Both feed into the broader picture that Hermes can reference when I need to make decisions about pacing, capacity, or resource allocation.\nWhy Not Just Use ChatGPT? #The short answer is that ChatGPT doesn\u0026rsquo;t know me. Every session starts from zero. There\u0026rsquo;s no persistent memory of what I was working on, what my disabilities are, what accommodations I\u0026rsquo;ve already explained, or what tools I\u0026rsquo;m using. For someone without memory and context continuity challenges, that\u0026rsquo;s a minor inconvenience. For me, it means spending the first ten to twenty minutes of every session rebuilding baseline context before I can do any actual work.\nBeyond memory, there\u0026rsquo;s the control problem. I can\u0026rsquo;t build custom integrations into ChatGPT. I can\u0026rsquo;t give it direct access to my local files, my Hermes logs, or my Pieces snippets. The tool is powerful in isolation but sealed off from the rest of the stack I depend on.\nHow the Architecture Actually Works #Capture layer: Pieces logs my coding context and notes. Supermemory indexes my research. Hermes logs structured health and administrative events.\nMemory layer: Pieces LTM holds cross-session code and workflow history. Supermemory holds the web research graph. Hermes holds structured logs of routine tasks and health data.\nReasoning layer: GitHub Copilot pulls from Pieces via MCP and handles the technical and cognitive scaffolding. Gemini, accessible through Hermes, handles the administrative reasoning layer. Local models handle lightweight tasks where latency or cost matters.\nExecution layer: Hermes executes scheduled tasks and administrative actions on the Pi. VS Code tasks and custom scripts handle the development execution layer.\nWhy this matters: The system reduces cognitive re-entry cost. When I come back to any task, the context is already there. I don\u0026rsquo;t have to reconstruct it from memory I don\u0026rsquo;t reliably have.\nHow They Help with Specific Struggles #Memory loss: Pieces gives me a searchable log of everything I\u0026rsquo;ve worked on. I don\u0026rsquo;t need to remember; I need to search. Supermemory does the same for research. Hermes logs what it did and when so I can check my own history.\nExecutive dysfunction: Hermes handles the task-initiation problem for routine administrative work. I don\u0026rsquo;t need to decide to check my inbox, triage calendar conflicts, or log symptoms. The system does it on schedule.\nHealth tracking: Guava captures symptoms and medications. Hermes reads those logs and can surface patterns or flag anomalies when I ask. I don\u0026rsquo;t need to keep a manual health journal on days when I have nothing left.\nFinancial complexity: Sophtron pulls structured account data. This removes the need to log into inaccessible financial interfaces on high-cognitive-load days.\nAccessibility barriers: The whole stack is keyboard and screen-reader accessible. I built it around NVDA on Windows and VoiceOver on iOS. Nothing in the workflow requires me to navigate a visual interface I can\u0026rsquo;t use.\nPhone anxiety: Hermes handles communication tasks that would otherwise require phone calls. Copilot handles the drafting of emails and messages when word-finding is failing.\nPhysical limitations: Because most of the system runs on a server or in the background, I don\u0026rsquo;t need to be actively running it to benefit from it. Hermes runs while I rest.\nConcrete Examples #Coding session after a multi-day gap: I open VS Code, ask Copilot what I was working on, and Pieces surfaces the relevant snippets and context. Instead of spending twenty minutes reconstructing my own state, I\u0026rsquo;m back in the work within two or three minutes.\nLow-energy logging on a bad day: I speak a rough health update into my phone. Hermes transcribes it, structures it, and logs it. I didn\u0026rsquo;t have to type, navigate, or maintain a format. The data is captured without friction.\nResearch without tab management: I read three articles on a topic. Supermemory indexes them. Two weeks later, I need to reference one of them. I search semantically and find it without needing to remember the title, the site, or that I even read it.\nPhone-free communication: I need to respond to something that would normally require a phone call. I draft the response in Copilot, adjust it, and send it as a message or email. No call required.\nWhat This System Doesn\u0026rsquo;t Look Like #The AI gets things wrong. Copilot misunderstands context. Hermes occasionally fails to parse a task correctly. Supermemory misses things I\u0026rsquo;d consider important. These are real limitations, not edge cases.\nThe infrastructure requires maintenance. Scripts break. The Pi needs reboots. MCP connections time out. On my worst days, I don\u0026rsquo;t have the capacity to debug the system I depend on. This is a real vulnerability in the architecture.\nThe system doesn\u0026rsquo;t replace human connection or human support. It handles the administrative and cognitive overhead that would otherwise block me from accessing human connection. That\u0026rsquo;s a meaningful distinction.\nThe Closer #This isn\u0026rsquo;t a productivity system. It\u0026rsquo;s a survival infrastructure. The goal isn\u0026rsquo;t optimization or efficiency or becoming a better developer. The goal is basic functionality on a body and a mind that require constant manual override just to stay operational.\nIf you\u0026rsquo;re multiply disabled and the standard second brain advice has never worked for you, this might be why. The advice is built for a different kind of nervous system. What works for me is a system that catches what I drop, remembers what I forget, and acts when I can\u0026rsquo;t, without requiring me to maintain it perfectly on the days when I have nothing left to give.\n","date":"May 15, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/technology/ai-as-second-brain/","section":"Technology","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe productivity advice says: use a second brain. Pick a note-taking app, capture everything, link ideas, review weekly.\nBuild a system and trust it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve tried most of the popular options. Notion collapsed under its own visual complexity. Obsidian\u0026rsquo;s graph view is a\nspatial nightmare for someone with topographical agnosia. Roam required too much upfront structure on days when I have\nnothing left for structure. Apple Notes doesn\u0026rsquo;t persist across my fragmented hardware setup.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"AI as a Second Brain"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/cognitive-prosthetic/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Cognitive-Prosthetic"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/advocacy/","section":"Advocacy","summary":"","title":"Advocacy"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/categories/advocacy/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Advocacy"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/advocacy/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Advocacy"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/community/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Community"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/faith/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Faith"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/identity/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Identity"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/intersectionality/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Intersectionality"},{"content":"There\u0026rsquo;s no community that accepts my whole stack. Every space I enter runs me through a filter. Sometimes I get bounced on the disability check. Sometimes on the faith. Sometimes on the AI. I built Hermes Agent because I had nowhere else to go.\nThe Disclosure Trap #I never know whether I should lead with my disability profile. The social cost is high regardless.\nIn tech spaces, not disclosing means screenshots I can\u0026rsquo;t see. People throw visual context at me without filtering. They assume I know basics I don\u0026rsquo;t. If I mention I\u0026rsquo;m blind, autistic, and chronically ill, the reaction shifts. I become a curiosity. People bombard me with questions. I answer. They move on. It never leads to connection. I\u0026rsquo;m a puzzle, not a peer.\nSingle-issue spaces run on assumption mismatches. If I show up in a blindness space, the philosophy is one-size-fits-all independence. If I need help, I\u0026rsquo;m doing it wrong.\nIf I enter an autistic space, I find it\u0026rsquo;s often built for people with lower support needs who can handle the visual and sensory load. There\u0026rsquo;s an implicit assumption that everyone present is high-functioning enough to manage. My support needs are higher than these rooms accommodate, a gap made wider by the limbo of being reevaluated.\nChronic illness spaces understand fatigue and brain fog. They might even understand neurodivergent sensory overload. But add blindness to the mix and their tools fall apart. They post infographics about pacing without alt-text. They share spoonie memes that I can\u0026rsquo;t read. They assume my main barrier is energy, not the fundamental way I interface with the world. When you live at the intersection of all three, you become an outlier in a room full of outliers. You\u0026rsquo;re too much for the spaces meant for the marginalized.\nIn disabled tech spaces, the dynamic flips again. Multiply disabled gets treated as shorthand for \u0026ldquo;not technical\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;needs heavy hand-holding.\u0026rdquo; I build AI agents on a Raspberry Pi. I self-host XMPP. I manage a Pelican site. None of that registers against the weight of a diagnosis list. The technical signal gets overwritten by the social read.\nThe Religion Penalty #I\u0026rsquo;m a conservative Christian. In disabled spaces, this is treated with skepticism or outright hostility. Faith gets read as either a liability or a testimony. There\u0026rsquo;s no middle ground where belief just exists alongside disability without being treated as politically dangerous.\nMost disability communities are liberal. The institutions that harm disabled people are often conservative ones. I understand why nobody wants to defend those institutions. But it leaves people like me with nowhere to sit. It also adds a constant vetting tax to every space I enter. I\u0026rsquo;m always checking to see if mentioning my Sunday study or reading from Gnostic texts will get me flagged before I even talk about code or my disabilities.\nThe AI Reflex #If I manage to survive the disclosure trap and the religion penalty, there\u0026rsquo;s always the AI reflex.\nDisabled Techies Slack is one of the spaces I\u0026rsquo;ve felt safest in. I still haven\u0026rsquo;t mentioned my AI setup there because the ambient baseline is hostile. The pattern isn\u0026rsquo;t a minority opinion. It\u0026rsquo;s the water.\nOne active member complains about a coworker who asked an AI to write a pull request in their style, and the thread gets dozens of sympathetic reactions. Another post describes a boss asking if anyone \u0026ldquo;cheated\u0026rdquo; by using AI to summarize a book club pick. When someone asks a practical question about using AI for benefits applications, they start by apologizing that they\u0026rsquo;re \u0026ldquo;normally pretty anti-genAI.\u0026rdquo;\nThe thread about ambient AI recording devices in doctor\u0026rsquo;s offices gets a pile of facepalm emoji reactions. Not a single person mentions that transcription tools help people with memory issues or cognitive load.\nThe parking spot without a van ramp gets called out as a real failure. Someone suggests an AI audit and gets instant skepticism. The skepticism is fair in that context, but nobody ever asks whether AI tools could have flagged that parking failure in the first place with proper prompts.\nThe space conflates assistive AI with lazy AI. A person using an agent to manage cognitive load isn\u0026rsquo;t the same as a coworker who asks a model to write their PR in their colleague\u0026rsquo;s style. One is an accommodation. The other is performative automation. Disabled spaces refuse to draw the line.\nSo I don\u0026rsquo;t bring up Hermes. I don\u0026rsquo;t mention that I use it to triage my inbox or log health data into Guava. I just absorb the cognitive tax of existing in a space I need for survival.\nWhat I Actually Need #I don\u0026rsquo;t need everyone to match my profile. That would be a very small room. I need a baseline of tolerance.\nTech spaces need to stop treating multiply disabled as synonymous with non-technical. Send the URL. Not the screenshot. Sending a URL instead of a screenshot is five seconds, not an hour. It\u0026rsquo;s low-effort, high-impact inclusion that takes zero time to learn.\nDisabled spaces need to stop treating AI as a moral failing and start treating it as the spectrum it actually is. Accommodation and slop are not the same thing.\nFaith spaces need to accept that disabled people can hold conservative beliefs without being a threat. Belief isn\u0026rsquo;t an attack vector. Similarly, disabled spaces need to be more accepting of different values and belief systems.\nThe Interface Between #I stopped looking for a prebuilt community that accepts the full stack. I started building infrastructure instead.\nHermes Agent runs on a Pi. It checks my calendar. It manages my inbox. It monitors my GoFundMe. It logs health data. I built it because no existing group will advocate for me without asking me to sacrifice part of who I am. Hermes doesn\u0026rsquo;t just move data around. It manages the friction of a world not built for my stack. It reduces the cognitive load. It makes living in this world possible.\nBut it doesn\u0026rsquo;t fix the loneliness.\nHandling the overhead just means I survive the day. I still go back to a screen where nobody sees the whole stack. I built the tool because I had to. It works. And I\u0026rsquo;m still not seen.\n","date":"May 13, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/advocacy/no-home-base/","section":"Advocacy","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThere\u0026rsquo;s no community that accepts my whole stack. Every space I enter runs me through a filter. Sometimes I get bounced\non the disability check. Sometimes on the faith. Sometimes on the AI. I built Hermes Agent because I had nowhere else to\ngo.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-disclosure-trap\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eThe Disclosure Trap \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#the-disclosure-trap\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eI never know whether I should lead with my disability profile. The social cost is high regardless.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"No Home Base"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/tech/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Tech"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/blindness/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Blindness"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/chronic-illness/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Chronic-Illness"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/neurodivergent/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Neurodivergent"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/philosophy/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Philosophy"},{"content":" Sourcing Note: The examples in this article are not hypotheticals. They come from my own captured daily logs, technical sessions, and lived experiences. For a plain-language breakdown of the physical mechanics behind my diagnoses, see my Human Terms summary.\nThe Comfortable Lie of the Sum #There\u0026rsquo;s a model of disability that feels mathematically tidy and is almost entirely wrong.\nIt goes like this: a person has Disability A and Disability B. Their overall difficulty is therefore $A + B$. If we build an accommodation for A, we\u0026rsquo;ve reduced the total load to just $B$. Progress has been made. The spreadsheet balances. Everyone goes home feeling useful.\nIn reality, disability isn\u0026rsquo;t an additive sum. It\u0026rsquo;s a resource contention issue. The correct relationship is closer to:\n$$\\text{Lived Difficulty} = (A \\times B \\times C) \\cdot \\text{System Design}$$\nWhen a system design ignores the interaction between variables, and the accommodation built for Disability A requires a resource already depleted by Disability B, it acts as a multiplier. The result isn\u0026rsquo;t a reduction in load; it\u0026rsquo;s a buffer overflow.\nSystem Specifications: Operating in \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; #Most people experience their bodies like a high-level Python script: \u0026ldquo;batteries included.\u0026rdquo; Breathing, swallowing, digestion, postural stability, and spatial awareness are handled by the standard library in the background. They\u0026rsquo;re low-overhead, automated processes.\nI operate in what I call \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode.\u0026rdquo; My background processes aren\u0026rsquo;t automated; I\u0026rsquo;m manually managing the event loop.\nI\u0026rsquo;m totally blind, autistic (I think, though this is being reevaluated), and live with Topographical Agnosia (TA), meaning I have no mental map and must navigate using raw logic and tactile coordinates.\nAmong other conditions, I also manage Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH), which feels like a balloon being over-inflated behind my eyes; fibromyalgia, which leaves my nervous system stuck on a high-pain setting; gastroparesis and esophageal dysmotility, which cause my digestive system to operate unpredictably; and a physical height of 4'10\u0026quot;. My airway is compromised by severe allergies, and my swallowing reflex doesn\u0026rsquo;t trigger automatically.\nIn a standard system, physiological survival is a background daemon. For me, it\u0026rsquo;s a blocking task in the foreground. It requires constant, conscious CPU cycles. When an accessibility solution for one condition requires a capacity another condition has already depleted, the system triggers a RecursionError and crashes.\nCase One: The Spatial Audio Trap #Audiogames are often held up as the gold standard for blind accessibility. The design assumption is generous and logical: if a player can\u0026rsquo;t see a 3D space, give them directional audio. Let sound carry the spatial information.\nFor a blind player with a standard spatial mapping \u0026ldquo;driver,\u0026rdquo; this works. For me, it\u0026rsquo;s a second barrier built directly on top of the first.\nDirectional audio requires the listener to hear a sound, locate it in 3D space, translate that vector into a navigable direction, and execute a command under time pressure. Because of Topographical Agnosia, my brain doesn\u0026rsquo;t have that spatial mapping library installed. I have to emulate it in software, manually calculating cardinal references, headings, and key mappings.\nThis emulation isn\u0026rsquo;t free. It costs the exact same CPU cycles I use to maintain \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode.\u0026rdquo;\nWhen a game layers multiple simultaneous audio cues (enemy positions, environmental feedback, UI alerts), I\u0026rsquo;m not experiencing \u0026ldquo;immersive accessibility.\u0026rdquo; I\u0026rsquo;m experiencing critical resource exhaustion. My cognitive scheduler is saturated trying to decode the spatial audio stack while simultaneously issuing the manual commands to swallow, breathe, and stay upright. Something gets dropped from the queue. Sometimes it\u0026rsquo;s the game. Sometimes it\u0026rsquo;s my airway.\nCase Two: Voice Interfaces and the Word-Finding Tax #Voice interfaces are marketed as the ultimate \u0026ldquo;hands-free\u0026rdquo; accessibility win. They remove visual and motor barriers. But for me, they represent a high-latency API call with a massive failure rate, creating an intersection of three simultaneous costs:\nFirst, executive retrieval. My word-finding isn\u0026rsquo;t always instant. A voice interface forces a real-time, high-priority retrieval call that my system may not have enough memory to fulfill, especially under cognitive load.\nSecond, the manual overhead. Speaking isn\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;just talking.\u0026rdquo; It\u0026rsquo;s a sequence of manual motor commands:\nInitiate controlled exhale Coordinate vocal cords Sustain pressure through the sentence Remember what I\u0026rsquo;m trying to say while doing all of the above Try not to trail off mid-command when I need to breathe or forget a word (voice interfaces don\u0026rsquo;t understand mid-sentence corrections or sudden stops) Suppress the urge to cough Resume normal breathing A voice command is a taxing system call.\nThird, the retry cost. When a voice interface mishears me, there\u0026rsquo;s no cache, no retry at a reduced cost. I have to re-execute the entire high-cost try/except block.\nThe accommodation designed to reduce input barriers (voice) directly multiplies the cost of the conditions it wasn\u0026rsquo;t designed to account for: executive retrieval load, speech coordination difficulty, and neurological manual overhead.\nCase Three: The Environmental Deadlock of Overhead Reaching #The multiplicative nature of disability isn\u0026rsquo;t limited to digital interfaces; it dictates my physical reality.\nI\u0026rsquo;m 4'10\u0026quot;. That\u0026rsquo;s an immutable hardware constraint. In a standard-height world, reaching over my head is a global variable I encounter constantly, from top kitchen cabinets to the highest fridge shelves and the microwave.\nI actively try to avoid reaching overhead because it\u0026rsquo;s a high-cost physical function. Reaching over my head spikes my intracranial pressure. Doing it can easily trigger a multi-day system crash where I\u0026rsquo;m entirely nonfunctional. But avoiding it is incredibly difficult when the physical environment demands it.\nEarlier today, this environmental mismatch created a classic system deadlock.\nThe Dependency: I have seborrheic dermatitis on my scalp. Washing my thick hair is a non-negotiable maintenance task to prevent bleeding and infection. As it is, I already don\u0026rsquo;t shower as often as I should because of the energy and resource cost. I\u0026rsquo;m doing well if I can manage two showers a week. The Hardware Constraint: Reaching my showerhead and scrubbing my own scalp requires prolonged overhead reaching. The Software Conflict: I was in the middle of a brutal IIH and fatigue flare. My IIH felt barely manageable. I wanted to stay functional, but I knew that executing the \u0026ldquo;reach overhead\u0026rdquo; motion would crash my system for the rest of the day. In a single-disability, additive model, an occupational therapist might suggest adaptations: a long-handled scalp massager for the shower, or a grabber tool for the high kitchen cabinets.\nWe didn\u0026rsquo;t have the scalp massager. But more importantly, the grabber solution is an incompatible API. Because I\u0026rsquo;m totally blind and have Topographical Agnosia, a visual grabber is useless, unless you want a mess of broken items. I can\u0026rsquo;t visually target an item on the top shelf, and I don\u0026rsquo;t have the internal spatial mapping grid required to guide a 3-foot pole to an object I can\u0026rsquo;t see.\nI was stuck in a deadlock: preserve my system uptime but risk an infection flare, or execute the reach and trigger a critical pressure crash.\nThe math looked like this: $$\\text{Environmental Demand (Overhead Reach)} \\times \\text{IIH Flare} \\times \\text{Missing Spatial API} = \\text{System Lock}$$\nI couldn\u0026rsquo;t solve the equation alone. I had to wait for a \u0026ldquo;subroutine\u0026rdquo; (my mom coming home from work) to assist with the manual labor of washing my hair. This isn\u0026rsquo;t a lack of \u0026ldquo;independence\u0026rdquo;; it\u0026rsquo;s a failure of an environment that assumes a standard height, a single-threaded body with infinite energy reserves, and the ability to use standard visual adaptations.\nCase Four: The Medical Hardware Incompatibility (CPAP) #Standard medical devices often assume a baseline physiological API. When that API is non-standard, the device becomes completely unusable. My experience with a CPAP machine for sleep apnea is a textbook example of compounding hardware, physiological, and bureaucratic failures.\nBecause I breathe through both my mouth and nose, I\u0026rsquo;m forced to use a full-face mask. But my body doesn\u0026rsquo;t have an automatic swallow reflex. Overnight, saliva pools on my face with nowhere to go, turning the inside of the mask into a mess and creating a constant physical irritant.\nThe compounding variables don\u0026rsquo;t stop at fluid management:\nInaccessible UI: The machine itself (a ResMed AirSense 10) was inaccessible. I had to rely on my mom to adjust the settings. Missing Dependencies: My severe allergies are worsened by dry air. The machine\u0026rsquo;s built-in humidifier was ineffective without heated tubing. Bureaucratic Multiplication: Medicaid refused to cover the heated tubing, claiming it wasn\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;medically necessary\u0026rdquo;: an additive-model policy that ignores the multiplicative reality of my allergies and airway. I had to pay the $134 cost out of pocket just to attempt to use the machine. System Rejection: The combination of the irritating straps (even with special covers), the pooling saliva, the dry air, and my sensory processing issues created an unbearable sensory load. I would take the mask off in the middle of the night without even realizing I had done it. The math for this \u0026ldquo;solution\u0026rdquo; was: $$\\text{Full-Face Mask} \\times \\text{Missing Swallow Reflex} \\times \\text{Sensory Load} \\times \\text{Bureaucratic Denial} = \\text{Hardware Rejection}$$\nThe CPAP has been packed in a box for years because it\u0026rsquo;s functionally unusable. Instead, I now sleep in a hospital bed, a necessary environmental mitigation for the combined realities of my IIH, GI conditions, and unsupported sleep apnea.\nCase Five: Independence as a Force Multiplier for Harm #At age eighteen, I was enrolled in a transition program at the Texas School for the Blind designed to build independence skills. The program\u0026rsquo;s design assumption was well-intentioned and purely additive: \u0026ldquo;Blindness accommodations + Increased Demands = A prepared, independent graduate.\u0026rdquo;\nThe program wasn\u0026rsquo;t designed for a student who was also autistic, managing undiagnosed IIH, and operating in a body that required conscious neurological oversight for basic survival functions.\nThey had no variable for resource competition. The increased independence demands consumed the cognitive and neurological reserves I required to manage every other system. My body began to collapse. Fibromyalgia symptoms emerged as a permanent system error. Neurological overload became my baseline state. The harder I tried to meet their standard of independence, the worse every other condition became, because their definition of independence required me to spend resources I was already allocating just to stay alive.\nWhen I communicated this, the institution\u0026rsquo;s additive model had no way to process it. Because their spreadsheet didn\u0026rsquo;t have a multiplication operator, my physical collapse was interpreted as resistance, psychological instability, and a failure of motivation. My valedictorian status was removed. My assistive technology was confiscated. Scholarships were withdrawn. Had my mom not intervened and fought for me to return the next year, I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t have been allowed to walk the stage at graduation. The institution\u0026rsquo;s failure to account for the multiplicative nature of my disabilities resulted in active punishment for the predictable consequences of their design choices.\nThis is what happens when a system designed around one access need at a time applies the additive model to a multiply-disabled body: it produces institutional punishment for the predictable consequences of an unfunded mandate.\nMemory-Backed Evidence from Captures #The proof of this compounding friction exists throughout my daily logs. Using Pieces, an AI memory assistant running in my code editor, I can trace these conflicts in my own automated captures:\n2026-04-15 (Browser capture, article review): \u0026ldquo;The Barrier of Voice Interfaces\u0026hellip; Between word-finding issues and the energy required to maintain the \u0026lsquo;Manual Mode\u0026rsquo; of my breathing and speech, real-time voice commands are a huge neurological challenge.\u0026rdquo; 2026-04-15 (Browser capture, article analysis): \u0026ldquo;The Spatial Trap of Sound\u0026hellip; Audiogames\u0026hellip; rely on directional audio\u0026hellip; My brain can\u0026rsquo;t process this data\u0026hellip; [it] drains the same limited energy bank I use for manual mode physical survival.\u0026rdquo; 2026-04-18 (Browser capture, dictation friction): \u0026ldquo;Voice assistants don\u0026rsquo;t understand unless the command is perfectly formed\u0026hellip; if I forget a word, use the wrong one\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;This is a classic accessibility mismatch.\u0026rdquo; 2026-04-13 (Browser capture, contact preferences): \u0026ldquo;Text over Voice: I don\u0026rsquo;t do well with voice calls or ephemeral audio.\u0026rdquo; These captures show the same pattern repeating across contexts: an accessibility pathway that helps one user profile creates a higher resource tax for mine. That\u0026rsquo;s multiplication, not addition.\nThe Resource Conflict Is the Disability #My most consistent struggle is the intersection of spatial demand and manual survival.\nWhether I\u0026rsquo;m navigating a physical room, parsing a deeply nested dictionary in Python, or trying to reach a microwave on a top shelf, my brain is emulating a missing capacity. This \u0026ldquo;Spatial Emulation\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; compete for the exact same thread.\n$$\\text{Spatial Demand} \\times \\text{Manual Overhead} = \\text{Physical Crisis}$$\nA demanding cognitive or physical task doesn\u0026rsquo;t just result in frustration or normal fatigue. It produces an intracranial pressure spike and a multi-day system outage. The interaction between these conditions isn\u0026rsquo;t a nuisance; it\u0026rsquo;s an exponential threat.\nMultiplicative Design: A New Baseline #The additive model produces a checklist. Does the tool have a screen reader API? Check. Keyboard navigation? Check. High contrast? Check. Reduced motion? Check. Switch control? Check. Audio descriptions? Check. Voice commands? Check. Accommodation complete.\nThe multiplicative model requires a fundamentally different question: What happens when a user needs all of these features simultaneously, and they conflict?\nWhat happens when the screen reader\u0026rsquo;s verbosity settings create cognitive overload for a user with executive dysfunction? What happens when keyboard navigation requires spatial mental modeling that competes with the user\u0026rsquo;s limited physical resource pool? What happens when the user would benefit from switch control, but it doesn\u0026rsquo;t work with screen readers? What happens when the user has a condition affecting their ability to type but also relies on a screen reader, which doesn\u0026rsquo;t work with either voice commands or switch control? Multiplicative design requires modular architecture:\nModular Accommodation: Features must not be monolithic. A user should be able to toggle spatial audio off while keeping screen reader support on. Don\u0026rsquo;t force one \u0026ldquo;win\u0026rdquo; at the cost of another. Resource Awareness: Understand that every accessibility layer has a \u0026ldquo;cost.\u0026rdquo; An interface that requires 10 seconds of sustained vocal output from a user whose attention is partially allocated to breathing isn\u0026rsquo;t a \u0026ldquo;free\u0026rdquo; resource. Intersection as the Norm: When a system is designed with a \u0026ldquo;blind user\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;autistic user\u0026rdquo; as its primary persona, it\u0026rsquo;s underspecified. The CDC estimates that over half of adults with disabilities have more than one. Designing for the intersection isn\u0026rsquo;t an \u0026ldquo;advanced feature.\u0026rdquo; It\u0026rsquo;s stable code. Transparency over Perfection: Sometimes needs conflict. The solution isn\u0026rsquo;t to declare one need more legitimate. Expose the configuration, accept incompleteness, and allow the user to manage their own resource allocation. Conclusion #Two disabilities aren\u0026rsquo;t twice the difficulty. They\u0026rsquo;re potentially the square of it, or the cube, depending on how deeply the resource pools and the system\u0026rsquo;s own design choices interact.\nThe additive model is comfortable because it\u0026rsquo;s legible. Line items are easy to audit, fund, and mark complete. The multiplicative model is uncomfortable because it demands we reason about collisions, compounding costs, and the reality that a solution for one user can be an active harm to another.\nI\u0026rsquo;m not an edge case. I\u0026rsquo;m the predictable result of a world that designed for one disability at a time and then encountered a user running multiple high-overhead processes on a system with no reserve capacity.\nThe math was never going to balance using addition. It\u0026rsquo;s time to change the operator.\nPython-Focused Optimization (Dev Log) #To manage these multipliers, my technical environment is strictly optimized for low cognitive load and keyboard-first efficiency:\nCLI over GUI: I use fzf, ripgrep, and fd to find files. This replaces the \u0026ldquo;spatial\u0026rdquo; need to browse a visual folder tree with a simple, linear text-search task. uv for Package Management: The speed and reliability of uv reduce the \u0026ldquo;wait-time\u0026rdquo; and unexpected errors that often trigger sensory spikes during environment setup. Structured Data: I prefer Markdown and JSON over complex visual interfaces because they allow me to navigate via logical structure rather than visual layout, minimizing spatial emulation overhead. ","date":"May 11, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/advocacy/multiplicative-disability/","section":"Advocacy","summary":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSourcing Note:\u003c/strong\u003e The examples in this article are not hypotheticals. They come from my own captured daily logs,\ntechnical sessions, and lived experiences. For a plain-language breakdown of the physical mechanics behind my\ndiagnoses, see my \n      \n    \u003ca href=\"https://lanie.work/human-terms/\"\u003eHuman Terms summary\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-comfortable-lie-of-the-sum\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eThe Comfortable Lie of the Sum \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#the-comfortable-lie-of-the-sum\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere\u0026rsquo;s a model of disability that feels mathematically tidy and is almost entirely wrong.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt goes like this: a person has Disability A and Disability B. Their overall difficulty is therefore $A + B$. If we\nbuild an accommodation for A, we\u0026rsquo;ve reduced the total load to just $B$. Progress has been made. The spreadsheet\nbalances. Everyone goes home feeling useful.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Multiplicative Nature of Disability: Why 1+1 Equals a System Crash"},{"content":"This page is a reference for my family, friends, and colleagues. While I\u0026rsquo;ve documented my accessibility notes elsewhere, this list explains the mechanical and physical \u0026ldquo;why\u0026rdquo; behind my daily experience, with as little technical jargon where possible.\nAllergies and Postnasal Drip #Most people think of allergies as just sneezing or itchy eyes, but for me, they\u0026rsquo;re a physical barrier. My body produces a constant supply of extra mucus that doesn\u0026rsquo;t drain right. This mucus pools in my stomach, which makes my gastroparesis symptoms and nausea much worse. It also clogs my airway, which is already small, forcing me to breathe through both my nose and mouth just to get enough air. When I\u0026rsquo;m sleeping, this makes my sleep apnea even harder to manage. If I don\u0026rsquo;t use a heated tube with my breathing machine, my throat gets so dry and irritated that I can\u0026rsquo;t breathe well the next day.\nI also have to keep a bucket near me at all times because I often need to spit out mucus, which can be a lot and can come up suddenly. Blowing my nose often doesn\u0026rsquo;t work well because the mucus is thick, and my nasal passages are narrow, so I tend to snort it back into my throat and then spit it out instead. This constant battle with mucus is exhausting and adds another layer of complexity to managing my health, as it affects multiple systems and can exacerbate many of my other conditions. On days when the mucus is thicker or more abundant, it\u0026rsquo;s easier to choke or have a coughing fit, which can be both painful and dangerous, especially if it disrupts my breathing or sleep. The constant presence of mucus also means that I have to be very careful about my hydration and the products I use on my skin and in my nose, as certain ingredients can make the symptoms worse or trigger flare-ups. Overall, allergies and postnasal drip are a big part of my daily experience and need constant management so they don\u0026rsquo;t make my other health issues worse.\nThe Condition List #Neurological and Pressure-Related #Septo-Optic Dysplasia (SOD) #This is the \u0026ldquo;root\u0026rdquo; condition I was born with. It means certain parts of my brain and the systems that regulate my hormones didn\u0026rsquo;t develop fully. It\u0026rsquo;s the foundation for many of my other health challenges.\nTotal Blindness #I have no light perception or visual input, so I navigate the world using touch, sound, and structured text data. I also have prosthetic eyes that are purely cosmetic and don\u0026rsquo;t provide any visual function.\nIdiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH) #This is high fluid pressure inside my skull. It feels like a balloon is being over-inflated behind my eyes and brain, creating constant pressure and severe pain. It also causes a constant \u0026ldquo;whooshing\u0026rdquo; sound in my ears that never completely goes away, known as pulsatile tinnitus. This worsens with any movement, strain, or change in position. On some days, possibly due to stress or hormonal fluctuations, the pain can become so intense that I\u0026rsquo;m completely incapacitated. I had a stent placed in my brain to help drain the excess fluid, but it hasn\u0026rsquo;t fully resolved the issue.\nEmpty Sella Syndrome #Because of the long-term pressure from IIH, the structure in my brain that holds the pituitary gland has been flattened. This complicates how my body responds to stress and manages its \u0026ldquo;fuel.\u0026rdquo; This also causes hormonal imbalances that contribute to fatigue and weight gain.\nOccipital Neuralgia #This causes pain in my neck and the back of my head, and sometimes even facial pain. It feels like a constant, deep ache that can flare up into sharp, stabbing sensations with certain movements or pressure. Because of the pain, I have to be very careful with how I move my head and neck, which can make simple tasks like looking up or turning my head difficult and exhausting. I also can\u0026rsquo;t sit with my neck unsupported for long periods, as it can trigger severe pain.\nMigraines #Beyond just a headache, these are episodes of pulsing pain and extreme sensitivity to \u0026ldquo;sensory noise\u0026rdquo; like sound or touch. It can be difficult to tell a migraine apart from the constant pain of IIH or occipital neuralgia, but my migraines often come with nausea and sensitivity to sound.\nPain and Skin Management #Fibromyalgia #My nervous system is stuck on a high-pain setting. It creates a heavy, \u0026ldquo;flu-like\u0026rdquo; exhaustion and widespread aching that never fully subsides. It also causes what I call nerve pain, which is a sharp, shooting sensation that can happen anywhere in my body without warning. This nerve pain can be triggered by even the slightest touch or movement, making it difficult to find comfortable positions or engage in physical activities. The constant pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia also contribute to my overall energy depletion, making it hard to maintain a regular routine or participate in social activities.\nSometimes, I have a feeling like bugs crawling under my skin, which is a common symptom of fibromyalgia known as \u0026ldquo;formication.\u0026rdquo; This sensation can be extremely uncomfortable and distracting, further impacting my ability to rest or focus on tasks. Being blind, I don\u0026rsquo;t always know if the sensation is real or just a nerve issue, which adds another layer of confusion and discomfort.\nRheumatoid Arthritis #An autoimmune condition where my body\u0026rsquo;s defense system attacks my joints. It causes deep, stiff aching and physical damage over time. It also makes my hands and fingers feel swollen and weak, which can make it difficult to grip objects or perform fine motor tasks. The pain from rheumatoid arthritis can also flare up unpredictably, making it hard to plan activities or maintain a consistent level of function. Additionally, the inflammation can cause fatigue and a general feeling of being unwell, which adds to the overall burden of managing my health. This is worst in my hands, but it can also affect my knees and other joints, making walking and standing for long periods difficult.\nHidradenitis Suppurativa #A chronic skin condition that causes painful, recurring lumps and tunnels under the skin, usually in areas where skin rubs together. I get these in my armpits, on the back of my neck, under my breasts, and in my groin. They can become infected and require drainage, which is a painful process that can take weeks to heal. The constant discomfort and risk of infection from these lesions make it difficult to find comfortable clothing or positions, and they can also cause significant emotional distress due to their visibility and chronic nature. I also have to be careful about which deodorants or skincare products I use, as certain ingredients can trigger flare-ups. The pain from these lesions can be severe enough to interfere with sleep and daily activities, and the healing process can be slow and unpredictable, which adds to the overall challenge of managing this condition.\nSeborrheic Dermatitis #A recurring skin irritation that causes painful, itchy patches on my scalp and face and behind my ears. If scratched, these patches can bleed and become infected, which adds another layer of discomfort and health management to my daily life. The constant itching and irritation can make it difficult to focus on tasks or get restful sleep, which can further exacerbate my fatigue and overall health issues. I have to be very careful about the products I use on my skin and scalp, as certain ingredients can trigger flare-ups or make the symptoms worse, which adds another layer of complexity to managing this condition.\nDigestion and Swallowing Mechanics #No Automatic Swallow and Dysphagia #The physical reflex to move food or liquid down my throat doesn\u0026rsquo;t always work. I have to manually \u0026ldquo;trigger\u0026rdquo; the swallow to prevent choking. If I don\u0026rsquo;t, I drool or have food come back up, which can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. This also means I have to eat very slowly and carefully, which can be exhausting and time-consuming. I also have to be mindful of the types of food I eat, as certain textures can be more difficult to swallow and increase the risk of choking.\nAdditionally, I sometimes experience a sensation of food getting \u0026ldquo;stuck\u0026rdquo; in my throat, which can be both painful and frightening, especially if it triggers a coughing fit or makes it difficult to breathe. I also regularly choke on saliva, which leaves me feeling unwell for the rest of the day. Pills are especially difficult, and I often have to take them with a lot of water and in a specific position to ensure they go down safely. I once had a barium swallow test, which involved swallowing a chalky liquid while being X-rayed to see how it moved through my throat. The results showed that my swallowing reflex is very weak and uncoordinated. The doctor had to tell me to keep swallowing the liquid several times because it kept coming back up. I didn\u0026rsquo;t even realize it was happening and remember being confused about why the doctor was asking me to keep swallowing when I felt like I had already swallowed it. This test really highlighted how much of my swallowing process is manual and how easily it can go wrong, which has been a constant challenge in my daily life.\nEsophageal Dysmotility #The muscles in my food pipe don\u0026rsquo;t move in the correct rhythm, making it physically difficult and tiring to move food toward my stomach. I often have to sit upright for a long time after eating to help gravity do the work and use liquid to help move food down. This also means I have to be very careful about what I eat, as certain foods can get stuck or cause more discomfort. The sensation of food not moving properly can be very distressing and can lead to anxiety around eating, which adds another layer of difficulty to managing my nutrition and overall health. If I lie down too soon after eating, I can feel the food or liquid pool and come back up, which can be both uncomfortable and embarrassing. I also have to be mindful of portion sizes, as eating too much at once can exacerbate the symptoms and make it even harder to manage the dysmotility.\nLarge Tongue #A physical barrier that makes the mechanical acts of speaking and swallowing more taxing on my energy. My tongue is large enough that during a sleep study, the doctor tried to see my airway and couldn\u0026rsquo;t, even with a tongue depressor. This contributes to my sleep apnea and makes it more difficult to manage my breathing and swallowing, especially when I\u0026rsquo;m in pain or fatigued. It also means I can bite my tongue more easily, which can lead to painful sores and further complications with eating and speaking. The size of my tongue also makes it more difficult to keep my mouth closed while sleeping, which can exacerbate my sleep apnea and lead to more disrupted sleep. Because of the size of my tongue, along with postnasal drip, I breathe through both my nose and mouth. If I try to breathe only through my nose, I don\u0026rsquo;t feel like I\u0026rsquo;m getting enough air and can get lightheaded.\nGastroparesis #My stomach is partially paralyzed. It doesn\u0026rsquo;t empty into the small intestine correctly, which means food sits still for a long time, causing intense nausea and pain. This is severe enough that I don\u0026rsquo;t get enough nutrients from food, so I\u0026rsquo;m now on oral medical food shakes as my primary source of nutrition. I have to be very careful about what I eat, as certain foods can exacerbate the symptoms and lead to more discomfort. The sensation of food sitting in my stomach can be very distressing and can lead to anxiety around eating, which adds another layer of difficulty to managing my nutrition and overall health. I also have to eat very small meals throughout the day, as larger meals can make the symptoms worse and increase the risk of vomiting. The nausea from gastroparesis can be so severe that it sometimes leads to vomiting, which can further deplete my energy and nutrients, making it even harder to manage my overall health. Due to my allergies, postnasal drip, and GERD, my body produces a lot of mucus, which can pool in my stomach and make the symptoms of gastroparesis worse.\nGERD and IBS (Mixed Type) #Unpredictable digestive distress that can cause sudden pain or \u0026ldquo;system upsets\u0026rdquo; regardless of what I\u0026rsquo;ve eaten. Having IBS mixed type means I can experience both constipation and diarrhea, sometimes even alternating between the two in a short period of time. My GERD isn\u0026rsquo;t the typical \u0026ldquo;heartburn\u0026rdquo; type. It\u0026rsquo;s more of a reflux caused by the dysfunction of my esophagus and stomach, which can lead to a constant feeling of acid or food coming back up, even when I\u0026rsquo;m not eating. This can be very uncomfortable and can interfere with my ability to eat and sleep. The unpredictability of these symptoms can make it difficult to plan meals or social activities, as I never know when a flare-up might occur. It also leads to unusual hiccups. I don\u0026rsquo;t just hiccup. I hiccup and then burp, and the hiccups are hard and painful, like a spasm in my diaphragm. These can last for hours and are very exhausting.\nRespiratory and Sleep Systems #Manual Breathing #I breathe automatically, but when I\u0026rsquo;m focused on something or in a lot of pain, I might forget to breathe deeply or regularly. This can lead to lightheadedness and increased fatigue, so I have to consciously remind myself to take deep breaths, especially during stressful or painful moments. I also sometimes catch myself breathing too heavily and have to consciously slow down to avoid hyperventilation, which can cause dizziness and exacerbate my symptoms.\nSleep Apnea #My breathing stops repeatedly while I sleep. This means my body stays in \u0026ldquo;emergency mode\u0026rdquo; all night and never gets actual rest. Because of my combination of conditions, I can\u0026rsquo;t use a CPAP machine, which is the standard treatment for sleep apnea. Because of breathing through both my nose and mouth, I have to use a full-face mask, but the straps irritate my skin and scalp. Since I don\u0026rsquo;t swallow automatically, drool pools on my face all night, which is both uncomfortable and makes the mask a mess.\nMy allergies and postnasal drip also mean that I have to use a heated tube, or else my throat and nose get dry and irritated, and it\u0026rsquo;s harder to breathe the next day. Medicaid also won\u0026rsquo;t cover the heated tube, saying it\u0026rsquo;s not medically necessary, so I have to pay for it out of pocket. Finally, the mask and straps are uncomfortable enough with my sensory issues that I often find myself taking it off in the middle of the night, which defeats the purpose and leaves me feeling exhausted and unrested in the morning. The combination of these factors makes it very difficult to manage my sleep apnea effectively, which has a significant impact on my overall health and quality of life.\nNon-24-hour Sleep-Wake Disorder #My internal clock doesn\u0026rsquo;t follow the 24-hour sun cycle. My \u0026ldquo;day\u0026rdquo; shifts forward constantly, leaving me in a state of permanent jet lag. This, combined with chronic fatigue from all my other conditions, means I have no sleep schedule and often feel like I\u0026rsquo;m living in a fog. The constant shifting of my sleep-wake cycle can make it difficult to maintain a regular routine or participate in social activities, as I never know when I\u0026rsquo;ll be awake or asleep. It also contributes to my overall fatigue and can exacerbate the symptoms of my other conditions, making it even harder to manage my health effectively. I\u0026rsquo;ve tried many times to get on a regular sleep schedule, but it never works. It might seem to work for a few days, but then I have a day of bad fatigue or pain and spend the day sleeping, which shifts my schedule forward and throws everything off again. This cycle has been ongoing for years, and it\u0026rsquo;s something I have to constantly manage and adapt to.\nInformation Processing and Mental Health #Autism and Neurodivergence #Right now, we don\u0026rsquo;t know if I\u0026rsquo;m autistic or something else, but I have a lot of the same traits. I have sensory processing issues, social communication differences, and a need for routine and structure. This also means I have a different way of experiencing and processing pain and fatigue, which can make it harder for others to understand what I\u0026rsquo;m going through. My sensory processing issues can make certain textures or sounds overwhelming, which adds another layer of difficulty to managing my daily life and health. The social communication differences can make it harder for me to express my needs and experiences to others, which can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation. The need for routine and structure can make it difficult to adapt to changes in my schedule or environment, which can be particularly challenging given the unpredictability of my health conditions. Additionally, being neurodivergent means that I may have a different way of processing and coping with stress, which can impact how I manage my health and interact with others. It\u0026rsquo;s important for those around me to understand that my neurodivergence is an integral part of who I am and how I experience the world, and that it can influence how I manage my health and communicate my needs.\nI also find speaking difficult, and it can be hard to find the right words or express myself clearly. This worsens when I\u0026rsquo;m in pain, fatigued, or anxious, which can make it even harder to communicate with others and advocate for myself. I tend to prefer to write rather than speak for this reason, but even writing is hard for me. One trap of being highly verbal is that everyone seems to believe that words are easy for me, but they aren\u0026rsquo;t. I have to work hard to find the right words and put them together in a way that makes sense, which can be exhausting and time-consuming, and speaking requires coordinating my mouth, breathing, thoughts, swallowing, and tongue, which is a lot. This is especially true when I\u0026rsquo;m trying to explain my health conditions or advocate for myself, as I want to make sure I\u0026rsquo;m being clear and accurate, but it can be difficult to find the right language to do so. If someone rushes me or interrupts me while I\u0026rsquo;m trying to explain something, it can throw off my train of thought and make it even harder for me to communicate effectively. I also have a hard time with small talk and social niceties, which can make social interactions more draining and less enjoyable for me.\nI also stim, which means I have certain repetitive movements or behaviors that help me regulate my sensory input and manage my emotions. This can include things like rocking, fidgeting, vocalizations, chewing, or just needing to always be doing something with my hands, and it can be a crucial coping mechanism for me, especially when I\u0026rsquo;m in pain or feeling overwhelmed. However, stimming can also be misunderstood by others, and I have to be mindful of how it might be perceived in social situations, which can add another layer of stress and self-consciousness to my interactions with others. One of my stims, skin picking, can be particularly problematic, as it can lead to painful sores and infections, especially when I\u0026rsquo;m in a lot of pain or feeling anxious. I have to be very careful about managing this stim and finding alternative ways to cope with my emotions and sensory input, which can be challenging but is necessary for my overall health and well-being.\nTopographical Agnosia #I have no \u0026ldquo;mental map\u0026rdquo; and can\u0026rsquo;t visualize the layout of a room or how two places connect. I move through space using tactile landmarks and coordinates rather than mental pictures. This means I have to be very careful about how I navigate new environments, and I often have to ask for help or use assistive technology to get around. It also means that I can easily get lost or disoriented, especially in unfamiliar places, which can be both frustrating and anxiety-inducing. I have to rely heavily on my other senses, such as touch and sound, to create a mental map of my surroundings, but this can be difficult and time-consuming, especially in complex environments. Additionally, I have to be very mindful of my surroundings and use consistent landmarks to help me navigate, which can be challenging in crowded or changing environments.\nThis also means that I have to be very careful about how I organize my living and working spaces, as I rely on tactile cues to find things and move around safely. If the environment is too noisy or crowded, it can be overwhelming and make it even harder for me to navigate and find my way around, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and disorientation. I still get lost in my own home sometimes, especially if I\u0026rsquo;m in a different room or if something has been moved around. I have to rely on my memory of the layout and tactile cues to find my way, but it can be easy to get turned around or disoriented, especially if I\u0026rsquo;m in pain or fatigued. This applies to digital spaces as well. I have a hard time navigating websites or apps that aren\u0026rsquo;t designed with clear structure and organization, as I can\u0026rsquo;t create a mental map of the layout. I have to rely on consistent navigation and clear labels to find what I need, and even then, it can be difficult and time-consuming to navigate complex digital environments. A phone is much harder to navigate than a computer because of the smaller screen and more limited tactile cues, which can make it more difficult for me to use effectively.\nSevere Executive Dysfunction #The \u0026ldquo;starter motor\u0026rdquo; for my brain is often broken. Even when I have the desire and a plan to do a task, my brain can\u0026rsquo;t always send the signal to my body to begin. This is severe enough that tools people often recommend for executive dysfunction, like to-do lists or reminders, don\u0026rsquo;t work for me. I can have a clear plan and the motivation to do something, but my brain just won\u0026rsquo;t send the signal to start, which can be incredibly frustrating and lead to feelings of guilt or shame. This also means I have to be very careful about how I structure my day and manage my energy, as I can\u0026rsquo;t rely on willpower or motivation to get things done.\nI have to use a lot of external supports and accommodations to help me manage my executive dysfunction, but even with those, it can still be a struggle to get started on tasks, especially when I\u0026rsquo;m in pain or fatigued. This can lead to a lot of procrastination and difficulty maintaining a regular routine, which can further exacerbate my health issues and make it even harder to manage my overall well-being. Additionally, the executive dysfunction can make it difficult to plan and organize my thoughts and actions, which can lead to a lot of mental clutter and overwhelm. I often have a hard time breaking down tasks into smaller steps or figuring out where to start, which can make even simple tasks feel insurmountable. This can lead to a lot of avoidance and difficulty following through on commitments, which can impact my relationships and overall quality of life. Even when I do manage to get started on a task, I can have a hard time sustaining the effort and focus needed to complete it, which can lead to a lot of unfinished projects and a sense of frustration and disappointment in myself.\nSevere Time-Blindness #I don\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;feel\u0026rdquo; the passage of time. Five minutes and five hours feel identical to me, making external timers a mechanical necessity for my survival. Without them, I can easily lose track of time and end up in dangerous situations, such as forgetting to eat or take medication. This also means that I have to be very careful about how I structure my day and manage my time, because I can\u0026rsquo;t rely on my internal sense of time to keep me on track. I have to use a lot of external supports and accommodations to help me manage my time-blindness, such as alarms, timers, and reminders, but even with those, it can still be a struggle to stay on schedule, especially when I\u0026rsquo;m in pain or fatigued.\nThis can lead to missed appointments, forgotten tasks, and difficulty maintaining a regular routine, which can further exacerbate my health issues and make it even harder to manage my overall well-being. Additionally, the time-blindness can make it difficult to plan and organize my day, as I can\u0026rsquo;t accurately estimate how long tasks will take or how much time I have available, which can lead to a lot of mental clutter and overwhelm. I often have a hard time breaking down tasks into smaller steps or figuring out how to allocate my time effectively, which can make even simple tasks feel insurmountable. This can lead to avoidance and difficulty following through on commitments, which can impact my relationships and overall quality of life. Even when I do manage to stay on schedule, I can have a hard time sustaining the effort and focus needed to complete tasks within a reasonable timeframe, which can lead to a lot of unfinished projects and a sense of frustration and disappointment in myself. This is exacerbated by my non-24 and chronic fatigue, which can make it even harder to manage my time effectively and stay on track with my schedule.\nProbable CPTSD #My nervous system often stays in \u0026ldquo;survival mode\u0026rdquo; due to experiences with medical and institutional harm, making it hard to feel physically safe. Trauma for me shows up as freezing, fawning, or anxiety, and it can be triggered by needing to work with systems meant to support disabled people, such as healthcare providers, social workers, or even certain accommodations, people around me fighting, trying to do independent living tasks where I was previously pushed, or even loud noises. This can make it very difficult for me to access the care and support I need, as I may avoid seeking help or advocating for myself due to fear of retraumatization. It also means that I have to be very careful about how I interact with these systems and the people within them, as certain triggers can lead to a shutdown or panic response that makes it impossible for me to communicate my needs effectively. Additionally, the CPTSD can impact my overall mental health and well-being, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and isolation, which can further exacerbate my physical health issues and make it even harder to manage my overall health.\nMajor Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder #The persistent mental fatigue and \u0026ldquo;background noise\u0026rdquo; of worry that comes from the high cognitive load of manually managing all these systems. This also means that I have to be very careful about how I manage my mental health, because the symptoms of depression and anxiety can make it even harder to manage my physical health and advocate for myself effectively. The depression can lead to feelings of hopelessness and a lack of motivation, which can make it difficult to engage in self-care and seek out support, while the anxiety can lead to constant worry and fear about my health and future, which can be overwhelming and exhausting. Additionally, the combination of depression and anxiety can lead to a lot of mental clutter and overwhelm, making it difficult to focus on tasks or make decisions, which can further exacerbate my health issues and impact my overall quality of life. It\u0026rsquo;s a constant balancing act to manage both my physical and mental health, and I have to be very mindful of how they interact and impact each other in order to maintain some level of stability and well-being.\nMetabolic and Physical Management #Obesity #A metabolic challenge tied to the hormonal issues from SOD and the difficulty of physical movement while in high pain. This also contributes to my sleep apnea and makes it more difficult to manage my overall health. The excess weight can put additional strain on my joints, which can exacerbate the pain from rheumatoid arthritis and make it even harder to move around. It also increases the risk of other health complications, such as diabetes and heart disease, which adds another layer of concern to managing my health. Additionally, the obesity can lead to social stigma and discrimination, which can impact my mental health and overall well-being.\nI\u0026rsquo;ve tried many diets and weight management strategies, but the underlying hormonal and metabolic issues make it very difficult to lose weight and keep it off, which can be frustrating and disheartening. Even if I lose a little, it usually comes back, and sometimes I gain more, which can feel like a constant uphill battle. You can also be overweight and malnourished at the same time, which is something I experience due to my gastroparesis and difficulty absorbing nutrients from food.\nUrinary Incontinence #A loss of bladder control that requires constant physical management and planning for safety. This means I have to be very careful about how I manage my bathroom needs, as I can\u0026rsquo;t always make it to the bathroom in time or may have accidents, which can be both embarrassing and uncomfortable. It also means that I have to plan my activities and outings around my bathroom needs, which can limit my ability to participate in social activities or go out for extended periods of time.\nAdditionally, the incontinence can lead to skin irritation and infections if not managed properly, which adds another layer of health management to my daily life. I have to use a combination of protective products and frequent changes to manage this condition effectively, which can be both time-consuming and costly. I also get my supplies through Medicaid, which means I have limited control over the brands and types of products I can use, and sometimes the products they provide aren\u0026rsquo;t the best fit for my needs, which can lead to discomfort and further complications. The incontinence can also lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment, which can impact my mental health and overall well-being, making it even harder to manage my health effectively.\nWhy This Page Exists #Managing these conditions is a full-time job that happens in the background of everything else I do. If I\u0026rsquo;m resting, quiet, or slow to start a task, it\u0026rsquo;s because one or more of these systems is currently requiring my manual attention. This page is meant to help people understand the \u0026ldquo;why\u0026rdquo; behind my daily experience, so they can better empathize with what I\u0026rsquo;m going through and support me in ways that are meaningful and useful. It\u0026rsquo;s also a way for me to organize my thoughts and experiences around my health, and to have a reference that I can share with others when needed. I hope that by sharing this information, I can help others understand the complexities of living with multiple chronic conditions and the importance of empathy and support in managing health challenges.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/human-terms/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis page is a reference for my family, friends, and colleagues. While I\u0026rsquo;ve documented my \u003cstrong\u003eaccessibility notes\u003c/strong\u003e\nelsewhere, this list explains the mechanical and physical \u0026ldquo;why\u0026rdquo; behind my daily experience, with as little technical\njargon where possible.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"allergies-and-postnasal-drip\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eAllergies and Postnasal Drip \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#allergies-and-postnasal-drip\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eMost people think of allergies as just sneezing or itchy eyes, but for me, they\u0026rsquo;re a physical barrier. My body produces\na constant supply of extra mucus that doesn\u0026rsquo;t drain right. This mucus pools in my stomach, which makes my gastroparesis\nsymptoms and nausea much worse. It also clogs my airway, which is already small, forcing me to breathe through both my\nnose and mouth just to get enough air. When I\u0026rsquo;m sleeping, this makes my sleep apnea even harder to manage. If I don\u0026rsquo;t\nuse a heated tube with my breathing machine, my throat gets so dry and irritated that I can\u0026rsquo;t breathe well the next day.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"My Conditions in Human Terms"},{"content":"I\u0026rsquo;m currently available for freelance accessibility, usability, and product feedback work. I test websites, apps, games, developer tools, and technical workflows from the perspective of a blind, autistic, and chronically ill assistive technology user.\nMy focus is practical. I help teams understand where real users get blocked, confused, overloaded, or excluded.\nI don\u0026rsquo;t provide legal accessibility audits, WCAG certification, VPATs, or formal compliance sign-off. Instead, I provide lived-experience feedback on whether a product is actually usable, understandable, and humane.\nMy Perspective #I don\u0026rsquo;t just look for broken code; I look for broken experiences.\nMy testing is grounded in daily experience with blindness, neurodivergence, chronic illness, fatigue, cognitive load, and assistive technology. I pay attention to barriers that automated tools and checklists often miss.\nI evaluate technology through the framework I document in my Accessibility Notes, including:\nKeyboard-Centricity: Is the tool fully usable without a mouse? Screen Reader Usability: Does the experience work clearly with NVDA and standard keyboard navigation? Cognitive Load: Does the interface overwhelm the nervous system or require too much memory? Information Persistence: Is important information available as stable text, or does it disappear too quickly? Fatigue and Real-World Use: Does the workflow still work for someone with limited energy? Low-Spatial Access: Does the product assume visual layout, spatial memory, quick reactions, or spatial audio? Services I Offer #Accessibility and Usability Testing #I can test a specific website, app, workflow, form, onboarding process, account setup, or feature using NVDA and keyboard navigation.\nThis can include feedback on:\nScreen reader navigation. Keyboard access. Form labels and error messages. Focus order and lost context. Confusing or overwhelming workflows. Places where a user may get stuck or be unable to recover. Whether the product works for users with multiple disabilities, not blindness alone. Product Feedback from a Disabled User #I can provide practical feedback on whether a product feels usable, predictable, and respectful from the perspective of someone who relies on assistive technology and has variable energy.\nThis is a good fit for:\nDisability-focused products. Health and chronic illness tools. Education platforms. Productivity tools. Community platforms. Apps or websites that want feedback from real disabled users before launch. Game and Interactive Media Accessibility Feedback #I can evaluate games and interactive experiences for barriers that affect blind players and disabled users with additional access needs.\nMy feedback can include:\nWhether the game relies too heavily on spatial audio. Whether navigation is memory-heavy or confusing. Whether quick reactions are required. Whether important information is available as stable text. Whether the experience works for someone who cannot rely on sight, fast movement, or strong spatial orientation. Developer Tool, CLI, and Documentation Feedback #I can test developer tools, command-line workflows, setup instructions, and technical onboarding from the perspective of a disabled backend learner and screen reader user.\nThis can include:\nTrying setup instructions as written. Identifying missing or confusing steps. Testing command-line output with a screen reader. Noting where documentation assumes sight, mouse use, or prior knowledge. Giving feedback on whether a tool is approachable for disabled learners and developers. Focused Bug and Issue Notes #I don\u0026rsquo;t replace a full QA team, but I can provide focused issue-style notes for specific workflows.\nDepending on the project, my notes may include:\nWhat I tried. What I expected to happen. What actually happened. Steps to reproduce the issue. Why the issue matters for disabled users. Suggested next steps or questions for the team. Good Fit For #My services may be a good fit for:\nSmall teams that want practical accessibility feedback before launch. Developers building tools for disabled users. Companies that want feedback from an actual NVDA and keyboard user. Game developers who want to understand nonvisual and low-spatial-access barriers. Teams working on developer tools, CLI tools, documentation, onboarding, forms, or account workflows. Researchers looking for lived-experience feedback from a multiply disabled technology user. Disability organizations or community projects that want technology to be easier to use. Example Projects I Can Help With #I can help with projects such as:\nTesting a signup, login, onboarding, or checkout flow. Reviewing whether a web app is usable without sight or a mouse. Testing a form or settings page with NVDA and keyboard navigation. Trying a developer tool or CLI workflow and identifying confusing steps. Reviewing a help article, setup guide, or documentation page from a screen reader user\u0026rsquo;s perspective. Testing a game for nonvisual, low-spatial-access barriers. Giving feedback on a disability, health, education, productivity, or community platform. Reviewing whether a workflow creates too much cognitive load or fatigue. Possible Deliverables #Depending on the project, I can provide:\nA short list of the biggest accessibility and usability barriers. Issue-style notes with steps to reproduce. Screen reader and keyboard workflow feedback. Notes on cognitive load, fatigue, information persistence, and recovery from errors. Feedback on onboarding, account setup, forms, settings, documentation, or technical workflows. A plain-language summary of what worked, what broke, and what would help. How I Work #I work best asynchronously and with a clearly defined task or workflow.\nA good project usually includes:\nA product, page, app, game, or workflow to test. A short description of what users should be able to do. Any test account, download link, or setup instructions I need. A flexible deadline when possible. I can provide feedback in a structured format, such as:\nWhat I tried. What happened. Where I got stuck. Why it matters. Suggested next steps. What This Is Not #To make sure we\u0026rsquo;re a good fit, here are the boundaries of my services:\nNot a legal compliance audit: I don\u0026rsquo;t provide WCAG certification, VPATs, ACRs, or legal accessibility sign-off. Not full regression QA: I don\u0026rsquo;t replace a dedicated QA team or test every feature in a large product after every release. Not visual design review: I don\u0026rsquo;t evaluate visual polish, branding, color, or layout aesthetics. Not emergency support: I work best with flexible, asynchronous projects, not urgent same-day deadlines. What I do provide is practical, lived-experience feedback on whether a product is usable, understandable, and humane for disabled users.\nLet\u0026rsquo;s Work Together #If you\u0026rsquo;re building a product, tool, game, website, or workflow and want practical feedback from a disabled assistive technology user, I\u0026rsquo;d be glad to hear from you.\nPlease reach out through my Contact Page with a short description of what you would like tested and what kind of feedback would be most helpful.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/services/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m currently available for freelance accessibility, usability, and product feedback work. I test websites, apps, games,\ndeveloper tools, and technical workflows from the perspective of a blind, autistic, and chronically ill assistive\ntechnology user.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy focus is practical. I help teams understand where real users get blocked, confused, overloaded, or excluded.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t provide legal accessibility audits, WCAG certification, VPATs, or formal compliance sign-off. Instead, I provide\nlived-experience feedback on whether a product is actually usable, understandable, and humane.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Services"},{"content":"People ask me a lot what I actually use day to day to get through work and life in a world that wasn\u0026rsquo;t built for me. This is my running list of tools and resources I trust and use often.\nSome links on this page may be affiliate or referral links. That means I may earn a small commission or account credit if you sign up through them, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things I have personally used or found genuinely helpful.\nHow I Access Technology #These are the core tools I use to access computers, phones, and the web.\nNVDA (NonVisual Desktop Access): My main screen reader. It\u0026rsquo;s free, open source, and highly customizable, which matters a lot in my development workflow. Humanware Brailliant BI 40X: My refreshable braille display. It\u0026rsquo;s essential for reading and navigating digital content in a way that works for me. VoiceOver: I use this on my iPhone for mobile accessibility. It lets me use my phone with gestures, braille, and speech. Google Chrome: My preferred browser for web-based tasks. It works well with my screen reader, and most of my web work happens there. Chrome Autobrowse can also help when I run into inaccessible sites. Betterbird: My preferred email client. It\u0026rsquo;s a Thunderbird fork with better accessibility and performance. With the Provider for Google Calendar add-on, it works smoothly with both Google Calendar and Google Tasks. Programming and Site Building #These are the tools I use for coding, site work, and backend learning.\nVS Code: My main editor for Python, Lua, and SQL. It provides a stable, text-first environment that works well with my screen reader. Hugo: The static site generator I use for this website. I switched from Pelican because Hugo builds much faster, requires fewer plugins, and has accessible themes that need far less tweaking. Its templating is also easier for me to work with than Jinja2. The uv Package Manager: A very fast Python package manager I use for project management and tool syncing. GitHub: The platform I use for version control and collaboration. Windows Subsystem for Linux (WSL): I use this to run a Linux environment (Arch Linux) while keeping the accessibility features I rely on in Windows. GitHub Copilot: An AI coding assistant that helps me write code faster and catch mistakes sooner. fzf, ripgrep, and fd: Command-line search and navigation tools I use every day. They are keyboard-first, produce clean text output, and help me browse filesystems and codebases without visual interfaces. Tmux: A terminal multiplexer that keeps my sessions alive across disconnects. I use it to run persistent processes on my headless Raspberry Pi server. Arch Linux: My Linux distro inside WSL. It gives me full control of my dev environment while I stay on a Windows machine with reliable screen reader support. Productivity, Communication, and Digital Security #These tools lower my cognitive load and help me stay organized and secure.\nTextExpander: I use this to manage repetitive typing, reduce physical fatigue, and avoid having to remember exact strings of text. If you buy a plan through my referral link, I may earn account credit at no extra cost to you. Ditto Clipboard Manager: Lets me keep track of multiple copied items, which cuts down on extra typing. 1Password: My password manager. It\u0026rsquo;s a key part of my online security and peace of mind. Foam: A VS Code-based note system I use for private notes and personal knowledge management. Cloudflare: I use this for DNS and domain management. This site is hosted on Cloudflare Pages, which has been reliable and accessible for me. PureTalk: My mobile service provider. They offer affordable plans and good enough coverage for where I live. Gmail: My main email service. I rely on its accessibility and integration with other Google tools. Google Calendar: I use this to manage my schedule and appointments. It works well enough with my screen reader for the way I use it. Google Tasks: I use this to keep track of my to-dos. It integrates well with Google Calendar and Gmail, which helps me stay organized. Tailscale: A zero-config VPN that connects all my devices into a private network. I use it to SSH into my headless Raspberry Pi from anywhere without opening ports or wrestling with complex network setup. XMPP / Snikket: I use XMPP for lightweight, decentralized messaging. I run my own Snikket server as my hosted XMPP provider. It\u0026rsquo;s simple to self-host and gives me full control over my communication. JMP.chat: A bridge service that lets me send and receive SMS and MMS from my computer. It integrates with XMPP, so I can text from my PC with my screen reader. Referral codes are available on request. Discord: I use Discord for community chat. Its API integration capabilities also make it useful for workflow automation experiments. Unigram (Telegram): My preferred Telegram client on Windows. Its accessibility makes it a reliable messaging platform on both desktop and mobile. Pushover: A notification service that delivers alerts I can\u0026rsquo;t miss, like cron job results, health reminders, or critical system failures. It works across my phone and browser. AI Tools and Memory Systems #These are AI tools and memory systems I use or have tried to reduce cognitive load, preserve context, and support coding, writing, accessibility analysis, planning, and automation experiments.\nChatGPT: One of my main AI support tools. I use it for coding help, writing support, accessibility analysis, executive-function support, and turning rough thoughts into structured plans. Pieces OS: A local-first memory and workflow tool I use to capture code snippets, project context, web research, and work history across apps. As its screen reader accessibility improves, it\u0026rsquo;s becoming a bigger part of my workflow. Google Gemini: I use this for AI-assisted writing, brainstorming, research, and organizing rough thoughts when I\u0026rsquo;m overwhelmed. Ollama: A local AI model runner I plan to use more after my computer upgrade, especially for experiments that would otherwise be limited by API usage or subscription caps. Hermes Agent: An AI agent platform I\u0026rsquo;ve experimented with for automated workflows and personal assistance. I\u0026rsquo;m not currently running it because cloud model usage became too expensive, but I may revisit it with local models through Ollama. Hardware and Custom Solutions #These are tools and custom solutions that make my physical setup work better for me.\nKeychron K10 Max: This mechanical keyboard provides the tactile response I need to know exactly where my hands are. Apache Restoration and Design: My mother\u0026rsquo;s contracting business. She has built custom physical solutions for me in the past that respect my tactile needs and energy limits. HydroFlask: Staying hydrated is a mechanical necessity for managing my health. I use these because they are durable and keep water at a consistent temperature. Health and Medical Nutrition #Managing multiple chronic conditions takes a systems approach.\nDr. Kenny Mittelstadt: My functional medicine practitioner and \u0026ldquo;root cause detective.\u0026rdquo; He works virtually with patients in Texas, California, and Florida. Guava Health: A health tracking platform I use to monitor my symptoms, medications, and trends. This helps me and my doctors make better decisions. FullScript: The platform I use to reliably source my medical-grade supplements and nutrition powders. MediClear Plus: A medical food powder from Thorne I use for nutritional support when my digestive system is struggling. UltraMeal: A medical food powder from Metagenics designed to support metabolic health. TheraBath paraffin bath: I use this for heat therapy to manage pain and improve circulation in my hands. Almay deodorant: I use this deodorant because it\u0026rsquo;s gentle on my skin and doesn\u0026rsquo;t cause irritation, which is important for managing my sensory sensitivities. Unlike most deodorants, it doesn\u0026rsquo;t trigger my skin issues, making it a reliable choice for daily use. I\u0026rsquo;d include a link, but for some reason their site doesn\u0026rsquo;t list deodorants. Learning and Theology #These resources support my self-paced education and spiritual exploration.\nBoot.dev: My main platform for backend-focused computer science learning. I\u0026rsquo;m currently working through its Python, Linux, Git, and backend development tracks, and it has become my favorite way to study CS fundamentals. Ledgeroo: A gamified accounting program I\u0026rsquo;m using to learn practical bookkeeping and financial workflows for my family\u0026rsquo;s business. Its progressive challenge system helps me work through accounting concepts one step at a time. Exercism: A hands-on coding practice platform I\u0026rsquo;ve used for structured exercises, especially for people who learn well by solving small problems. Codecademy: A self-paced learning platform I\u0026rsquo;ve used for programming and computer science foundations. World Bible Plans: A resource I use for structured study and reading plans. BibleGateway: A persistent text resource for looking up and comparing different Bible translations. Gnosis.org: The primary library I use for exploring broader Christian history and Gnosticism. Entertainment and Media #These are my main sources for music, audiobooks, videos, and other media.\nYouTube: I use YouTube for a wide range of content, from educational videos to entertainment. It works well enough with my screen reader, and it\u0026rsquo;s useful on days when I don\u0026rsquo;t feel well enough to read or focus deeply. Spotify: My go-to music streaming service for playlists, everyday listening, and Christian music. Audible: I use Audible for audiobooks and podcasts. It\u0026rsquo;s an easy way for me to find and listen to audiobooks. Accessible Gaming #These are games I\u0026rsquo;ve found more accessible because they prioritize menus, text, and systems over spatial navigation or timed reactions.\nTrimps: A deep incremental game that\u0026rsquo;s entirely menu-driven and works perfectly with NVDA. Evolve: A text-based civilization simulation focused on optimization. A Dark Room: A minimalist text-based game focused on resource management through menus. EmpireMUD: A text game that uses coordinates and pathing to help me navigate without needing a mental map. Stellar Aeon: A text-based space exploration game with a strategy focus. Erion: A MUD (Multi-User Dungeon) that focuses on exploration and social interaction through text commands. Technical and Disability Communities # Disabled Techies Slack: A group for tech workers with disabilities. It\u0026rsquo;s one of the places where disabled people in tech can compare notes, ask questions, and support each other. AppleVis: A community for blind and low-vision Apple users, with reviews, guides, and community posts about accessibility. r/blind: A subreddit where blind and visually impaired people share experiences, ask questions, and discuss accessibility and blindness. Program-l: A mailing list for blind programmers. It\u0026rsquo;s helpful for questions about programming, tools, and accessibility as a blind developer. Touching-python: A mailing list for blind Python programmers. It\u0026rsquo;s useful for Python-specific questions from other blind programmers. r/spicyautism: A subreddit for autistic people with higher support needs. I find it validating because it talks about parts of autism that often get ignored in lower-support-needs spaces. Note: Some links on this page may be affiliate or referral links. I only recommend tools, services, and communities I\u0026rsquo;ve personally used or found genuinely helpful.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tools-and-resources/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003ePeople ask me a lot what I actually use day to day to get through work and life in a world that wasn\u0026rsquo;t built for me.\nThis is my running list of tools and resources I trust and use often.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome links on this page may be affiliate or referral links. That means I may earn a small commission or account credit\nif you sign up through them, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things I have personally used or found genuinely\nhelpful.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Tools and Resources"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/cli/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Cli"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/python/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Python"},{"content":"The Broken Autopilot: Defining the Terrain #Have you ever thought about how much of your life gets handled by background processes? For most people, basic functions like swallowing and breathing are automatic, handled by the system\u0026rsquo;s kernel without any conscious input. For me, these are manual system calls. I call this \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode.\u0026rdquo; I don\u0026rsquo;t have a background thread for swallowing. Every single swallow is a conscious execution; if I lose focus, I find myself choking or realizing I\u0026rsquo;ve stopped clearing my throat entirely. My breathing follows a similar logic. While my body technically keeps me alive, it doesn\u0026rsquo;t do it efficiently. If I\u0026rsquo;m deep in a coding problem, I forget the instruction to breathe deeply. My system starts running on shallow air, my intracranial pressure spikes, and I end up with a system crash in the form of a debilitating headache. Every breath is a manual command, and the CPU cycles required to keep my physical hardware running are cycles I can\u0026rsquo;t use for anything else.\nThis \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; isn\u0026rsquo;t just about my physical body; it extends to the space I inhabit. If navigating my own skin requires a manual override, navigating my own home requires a total recalculation. This is where Topographical Agnosia begins.\nThe Logic Tax of Space #If the manual effort of breathing and swallowing is the physical tax I pay to keep my body running, Topographical Agnosia (TA) is the logic tax I pay to exist in space. Most people have an internal sense of direction that automatically knows the layout of a building. My brain doesn\u0026rsquo;t store that data. For me, living in a house, even one I\u0026rsquo;ve lived in for three years, is like following a set of text-based directions where I can only see one line at a time. As soon as I act on a direction, the instruction disappears.\nThere\u0026rsquo;s a deep irony in being a stranger in your own home. Knowing where the kitchen is isn\u0026rsquo;t automatic; I solve a complex puzzle to get there every time I stand up. Success depends on finding a landmark, like the specific texture of a rug or the edge of a bookshelf, to logically deduce my location. Rather than walking through my house, I\u0026rsquo;m manually navigating a series of if/then statements. When I open a door, it\u0026rsquo;s a brand-new discovery. Every trip for a glass of water is a manual mission that drains the same precious energy I need just to keep my physical system stable.\nTopographical Agnosia provides the missing map, but my neurological \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; provides the dead battery.\nTogether, they create a reality where I can\u0026rsquo;t afford the luxury of spatial navigation. I simply don\u0026rsquo;t have the spare cycles to spend on a world that refuses to stay still.\nMost parts of the world are designed for people who can build mental maps, or at least glance around and use visual cues to deduce their location. As a totally blind person with TA, this is a constant source of anxiety and exhaustion. The world is a maze without landmarks, and every step is a gamble. However, in the realm of programming, especially with tools like the Command Line Interface (CLI), I found a refuge. In programming, you don\u0026rsquo;t have to walk through a directory structure or visually scan for files. You can call a name, and the data appears. In a terminal, a file\u0026rsquo;s location isn\u0026rsquo;t a point in space; it\u0026rsquo;s a string of characters. I don\u0026rsquo;t need a map to find it; I just need its name. This is what I call teleportation. The logic of code allows me to bypass the need for spatial navigation entirely. Instead of trying to build a mental map of my codebase, I can rely on semantic logic to get me where I need to go. This is why I transitioned from frontend development, which relies heavily on spatial metaphors, to backend development and CLI tools that allow for this kind of teleportation.\nThe Frontend Trap: A Map with No Landmarks #The Semantic Anchor of HTML #My early days with web development were deceptively comfortable because of HTML. To a screen reader, and to my brain, HTML is just a nested list of facts. An \u0026lt;h1\u0026gt; isn\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;big text at the top of the page\u0026rdquo;; it\u0026rsquo;s simply the First Important Thing. An \u0026lt;ul\u0026gt; isn\u0026rsquo;t a vertical list on the left sidebar; it\u0026rsquo;s a Collection of Related Items. A \u0026lt;main\u0026gt; element feels like a labeled container for the main content. A \u0026lt;nav\u0026gt; is a container for navigation links, something that as a screen reader user, I can easily understand and identify. HTML leverages my verbal memory. I don\u0026rsquo;t need to visualize where a button sits on a screen; I just need to know what that button is. In this world, everything has a name and a role.\nIt\u0026rsquo;s a predictable environment where \u0026ldquo;what\u0026rdquo; is always more important than \u0026ldquo;where.\u0026rdquo; As long as I stayed within the semantic lines of well-structured HTML, the digital world felt like a place I could finally navigate without a manual override.\nThe Shifting Maze of CSS #When I moved into CSS and JavaScript, the illusion of stability shattered. The Box Model isn\u0026rsquo;t a box; it\u0026rsquo;s a set of invisible layers that can change based on the content inside them. The z-index isn\u0026rsquo;t a stack; it\u0026rsquo;s a constantly shifting hierarchy that can rearrange itself based on the smallest change.\nResponsive design isn\u0026rsquo;t a layout; it\u0026rsquo;s a shape-shifting entity that can look completely different on various devices. These concepts aren\u0026rsquo;t just hard to understand; they\u0026rsquo;re impossible to map in my brain. They feel like a maze that changes its walls every time I try to navigate it. The spatial metaphors that these technologies rely on are completely inaccessible to me. I can\u0026rsquo;t build a mental model of how elements relate to each other in space, and the constant changes mean that even if I could, it would be outdated the moment I try to use it. This is why I found myself increasingly frustrated with frontend development and drawn to the more stable, logic-based world of backend development and CLI tools.\nThe Jackhammer of Change #The rapid pace of change in frontend development is a kind of virtual construction noise for me. When I attended school at the Texas School for the Blind and Visually Impaired (TSBVI), I had regular orientation and mobility (O\u0026amp;M) training lessons to help me learn how to navigate physical spaces. These lessons were extremely difficult at the best of times. The teacher would try to teach me a route, sometimes 15 or more times, but when they asked me to walk it with minimal guidance, I would often fail. If I had any clue where I was going, and we walked into a construction zone, the noise and chaos would completely disrupt my ability to orient myself.\nThe constant changes in frontend development feel like that construction noise. Every new framework, every new design trend, every new tool is like a jackhammer blasting through the mental map I\u0026rsquo;m trying to build. It\u0026rsquo;s not just overwhelming; it\u0026rsquo;s actively disruptive to my ability to learn and navigate the space of frontend development.\nThe \u0026ldquo;C\u0026rdquo; Friction: The Neighborhood of Addresses #If frontend development is a shifting maze, programming in C is like being given a neighborhood of street signs without ever being able to see the neighborhood itself. In C, you have memory addresses and pointers that allow you to access specific locations in memory. For most programmers, this is a powerful tool that allows for efficient memory management. For me, it\u0026rsquo;s like being handed a list of street names and house numbers without ever being able to visualize the layout of the neighborhood. I can understand that a pointer is a reference to a specific memory address, but I have no mental map of where that address is in relation to anything else.\nIt\u0026rsquo;s a constant struggle to keep track of these coordinates in my head, and it feels like trying to navigate a city with no landmarks, no sense of direction, and no capacity to visualize the layout. This is why I found C to be particularly challenging and why I gravitated towards languages and tools that allow for more semantic navigation rather than spatial navigation.\nBit-Level Blindness #This issue also shows up when I try to work with bitwise operations. For example, earlier today I was working on the Grains exercise on Exercism, which requires you to calculate the number of grains of wheat on a chessboard. One way to do this is to use bitwise shifts to calculate powers of 2. I was able to do this in Python without any issues because I could focus on the logic of the calculation, but in C, when I tried to shift 1 by 64 bits to calculate the total number of grains on the board, the number overflowed, and I couldn\u0026rsquo;t understand the output because I had no mental model of how the bits were being manipulated in memory. This was like trying to understand a complex machine without ever being able to see its inner workings.\nThe Cost of Emulation: Resource Conflicts #Recognizing that my struggle with C pointers or CSS layouts isn\u0026rsquo;t just a math problem matters. It\u0026rsquo;s a Resource Conflict. Because of my Topographical Agnosia, my brain can\u0026rsquo;t see space. To compensate, I have to use raw, conscious logic to build a temporary, fragile mental model of where a pointer or a div might be. This emulation of spatial awareness is a high-power process. It drains the same limited energy bank I use for my \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; physical survival.\nWhen I\u0026rsquo;m forced to act as the \u0026ldquo;Manual Memory Manager,\u0026rdquo; I\u0026rsquo;m effectively stealing CPU cycles from my own physical safety. If I spend thirty minutes trying to visualize how 64 bits are arranged in a register, I\u0026rsquo;m not just doing math; I\u0026rsquo;m exhausting the neurons that tell me how to stay upright and keep my airway clear. For me, a system overload in code can lead to a literal system crash in my body.\nThe Backend Haven: Teleporting with Logic #Teleporting with Python and SQL #If memory management in C is like walking to an address, Python and SQL are like teleportation. In Python, I can import a module or call a function by name, and the logic of the codebase allows me to access the functionality I need without ever having to walk through a directory structure. In SQL, I can query a database by specifying the table and conditions, and the data appears without me having to navigate through a file system.\nThis is the kind of teleportation I find incredibly liberating. It lets me bypass the need for spatial navigation entirely and rely on semantic logic to get me where I need to go. Where C relies on manual memory management, Python has automatic garbage collection. This means I don\u0026rsquo;t have to keep track of memory addresses or worry about freeing memory; I can just focus on the logic of my code. Similarly, SQL abstracts away the underlying data storage and allows me to interact with data using a high-level query language. These tools allow me to teleport to the functionality I need without having to navigate through a spatial representation of the codebase. This is why I transitioned from frontend development, which relies heavily on spatial metaphors, to backend development and CLI tools that allow for this kind of teleportation.\nThe Sanctuary of the Shell #To function at my best, I need quiet, both literally and figuratively. The Command Line Interface (CLI) provides that quiet, and I often think of it as my Quiet Room. Fuzzy searching with fzf lets me jump to a file by name and open it directly. When I need to find text, ripgrep searches the entire codebase to locate specific strings instantly. Using fd allows me to find files by extension quickly without ever having to scan through directories. These tools allow me to bypass the need for spatial navigation and rely on semantic logic to get me where I need to go. Instead of trying to build a mental map of my codebase, I can use these tools to teleport directly to the functionality I need, which is a much more efficient and accessible way for me to work.\nThe Spatial Trap of Sound #Audiogames are often held up as the gold standard for blind accessibility, but for me, they represent another spatial trap. Most of these games rely on directional audio, requiring the player to hear a sound and immediately understand its exact coordinates in a 3D environment. You\u0026rsquo;re expected to tell where a noise is coming from and act on it instantly. My brain can\u0026rsquo;t process this data. Because I lack the internal mapping driver to handle directional cues, I often move my character the wrong way. A sound to the left requires a manual calculation rather than an intuitive movement.\nWhen a game layers multiple sounds at once, it creates a literal sensory overload. It\u0026rsquo;s a buffer overflow for my mind. My CPU cycles are so busy trying to sort the \u0026ldquo;Where\u0026rdquo; of the noise that I lose the ability to manage my own physical system. This is why I find refuge in incremental, text-based games like Trimps or Evolve. They offer complexity and progress through pure facts and data points, demanding no spatial awareness and offering total semantic stability.\nThe Barrier of Voice Interfaces #Voice interfaces present a similar barrier. Between word-finding issues and the energy required to maintain the \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode\u0026rdquo; of my breathing and speech, real-time voice commands are a huge neurological challenge.\nText-based programming is my solution. It provides a persistent, stable environment where I can read and re-read at my own pace. Using comments as landmarks and relying on the logical structure of the code lets me connect the dots. The code stays still on the screen long enough for me to understand the logic, which is crucial for my ability to function effectively.\nRedefining Independence #In the world of blind education, specifically within organizations like the National Federation of the Blind (NFB) or schools like TSBVI, there\u0026rsquo;s a heavy emphasis on \u0026ldquo;Independence\u0026rdquo; at all costs. The goal is often to prove that a blind person can do exactly what a sighted person does, in exactly the same way. We\u0026rsquo;re taught that success is walking a route alone, 15 times over, until it\u0026rsquo;s memorized.\nBut for someone with Topographical Agnosia and a physical \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode,\u0026rdquo; this version of independence is a resource leak. When I\u0026rsquo;m told that I must be able to navigate a complex spatial environment or a shifting frontend layout to be independent, I\u0026rsquo;m being told to ignore my own hardware limitations. Trying to force a brain without a mapping driver to act like a cartographer doesn\u0026rsquo;t lead to independence; it leads to a total system crash.\nSuccess Through Interdependence #Redefining success was necessary. In the physical world, I was taught that independence meant walking the route; in the digital world, I learned that success means teleporting. I don\u0026rsquo;t walk alone anymore, choosing instead to collaborate with my tools to offload the spatial work. They handle the file finding and memory management, which frees up my limited CPU cycles to do what I do best: solve problems. Using a CLI isn\u0026rsquo;t a crutch or a lesser way of working; it\u0026rsquo;s an optimized workflow that offloads the spatial \u0026ldquo;where\u0026rdquo; so I can focus on the logical \u0026ldquo;what.\u0026rdquo; This is interdependence, and for me, it\u0026rsquo;s the only sustainable way to live.\nConclusion: The Logician\u0026rsquo;s Victory #If you can\u0026rsquo;t read the map, stop trying to be a cartographer; start being a logician. We spend so much energy trying to fix our broken parts to fit a spatial world, but code doesn\u0026rsquo;t require us to be spatial. It only requires us to be logical. When I stopped trying to visualize the neighborhood of C pointers and started teleporting through Python and the CLI, I didn\u0026rsquo;t just become a better developer. I became a person who could finally breathe.\nTo my fellow multiply-disabled individuals who feel like they\u0026rsquo;re failing at standard accessibility: maybe the tools aren\u0026rsquo;t built for your nervous system. Standard accessibility often still relies on the metaphor of a map. If that map exhausts you, come to the Quiet Room of the terminal. In the CLI, you aren\u0026rsquo;t lost. You\u0026rsquo;re exactly where you need to be, just one command away from anywhere else.\n","date":"April 8, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/technology/teleporting-through-code/","section":"Technology","summary":"\u003ch2 id=\"the-broken-autopilot-defining-the-terrain\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eThe Broken Autopilot: Defining the Terrain \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#the-broken-autopilot-defining-the-terrain\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave you ever thought about how much of your life gets handled by background processes? For most people, basic functions\nlike swallowing and breathing are automatic, handled by the system\u0026rsquo;s kernel without any conscious input. For me, these\nare manual system calls. I call this \u0026ldquo;Manual Mode.\u0026rdquo; I don\u0026rsquo;t have a background thread for swallowing. Every single\nswallow is a conscious execution; if I lose focus, I find myself choking or realizing I\u0026rsquo;ve stopped clearing my throat\nentirely. My breathing follows a similar logic. While my body technically keeps me alive, it doesn\u0026rsquo;t do it efficiently.\nIf I\u0026rsquo;m deep in a coding problem, I forget the instruction to breathe deeply. My system starts running on shallow air, my\nintracranial pressure spikes, and I end up with a system crash in the form of a debilitating headache. Every breath is a\nmanual command, and the CPU cycles required to keep my physical hardware running are cycles I can\u0026rsquo;t use for anything\nelse.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Teleporting Through the Code: Why I Traded Spatial Maps for Semantic Logic"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/topographical-agnosia/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Topographical-Agnosia"},{"content":"My advocacy is rooted in the belief that technology should be an act of care. I lead several text-centric communities designed to reduce cognitive load and offer humane alternatives to traditional social media.\nMultiple Disabilities Peer Support #These groups, collectively known as MultAbilities, focus on the unique challenges of navigating overlapping disabilities.\nMultAbilities (GroupMe) #Our main outpost for people who prefer the simplicity of a linear text stream or SMS-based participation.\nJoin: MultAbilities on GroupMe MultAbilities (Groups.io) #A structured, low-pressure space for long-form discussion and resource archiving.\nJoin: MultAbilities on Groups.io MultAbilities (Discord) #A space for real-time text conversation and community engagement.\nJoin: MultAbilities on Discord Multiple Disabilities Peer to Peer Support Group (Facebook) #A broad hub for connection and shared community history. This group keeps its original name to maintain its established presence following a community merger.\nJoin: Multiple Disabilities Peer to Peer Support Group on Facebook Educational Advocacy #Online Education for the Disabled #A group for discussing and improving accessibility in digital learning environments.\nPlatform: Groups.io Join: Online Education on Groups.io Faith-Based Support #Imago Dei Disability Fellowship #A dedicated space for Christians with any disability to find peer support and spiritual community.\nPlatform: GroupMe (Accessible via App or SMS) Join: Imago Dei on GroupMe Community Philosophy #Across all these spaces, I prioritize:\nLow Cognitive Load: Predictable systems that don\u0026rsquo;t overwhelm the nervous system. Accessibility First: Tools that are fully navigable via screen readers (specifically NVDA) and keyboard. Energy-Based Planning: Workflows that respect limited physical and cognitive energy. ","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/community/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eMy advocacy is rooted in the belief that technology should be an act of care. I lead several text-centric communities\ndesigned to reduce cognitive load and offer humane alternatives to traditional social media.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"multiple-disabilities-peer-support\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eMultiple Disabilities Peer Support \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#multiple-disabilities-peer-support\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese groups, collectively known as \u003cstrong\u003eMultAbilities\u003c/strong\u003e, focus on the unique challenges of navigating overlapping\ndisabilities.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"multabilities-groupme\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eMultAbilities (GroupMe) \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#multabilities-groupme\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eOur main outpost for people who prefer the simplicity of a linear text stream or SMS-based participation.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Community \u0026 Advocacy"},{"content":"The Myth of the Seamless Ecosystem #The modern tech industry is built on a specific promise: buy into one ecosystem, and your digital life will effortlessly sync.\nBut that convenience is a privilege. When you live with blindness, multi-system chronic illness, neurodivergence, and topographical agnosia (a spatial processing disability that prevents my brain from forming mental maps, making it as easy to get lost in a complex software menu as it is on a physical street), brand loyalty is a luxury. You can\u0026rsquo;t choose a platform simply because it integrates well. You choose a platform because it allows you to function. You have to constantly weigh the cognitive load of one operating system against the screen reader reliability of another.\nBecause no single tech giant has solved accessibility across all their products, I can\u0026rsquo;t stay within one walled garden. Instead, I\u0026rsquo;ve been forced to build a \u0026ldquo;Franken-System.\u0026rdquo; By stitching together the most accessible parts of Windows, Apple, Linux, and Google, I\u0026rsquo;ve built a tech stack that actually works for me. But it comes at a steep cost. I\u0026rsquo;ve traded away seamless integration just to secure the basic ability to use my own devices.\nThe Hardware Split (Windows PC and iOS) #My hardware setup is the clearest example of this compromise. For my desktop environment, Windows is the most accessible platform because the assistive technology is abundant and reliable. I avoid Mac entirely due to its heavily spatial design, high cost, and long-standing issues with VoiceOver on macOS. While I love the Linux command line, a native Linux graphical desktop isn\u0026rsquo;t a viable option for me. The Orca screen reader lacks the robust features of NVDA, there\u0026rsquo;s far less assistive software available, and the environment demands unpredictable, cognitively expensive configuration just to get basic things working.\nThen there\u0026rsquo;s the mobile side. Between my coordination issues, topographical agnosia, fatigue, and blindness, I generally dislike using phones. But when I must use one, the iPhone is my only practical choice. iOS provides the most predictable screen reader behavior and a highly accessible app ecosystem. I avoid Android because the screen readers do not work as well for me, and the operating system feels slower and less accessible overall.\nThis isn\u0026rsquo;t just a tax on my time and energy; it\u0026rsquo;s a financial tax. I can\u0026rsquo;t opt for a budget Android phone or a cheap ChromeOS laptop. I\u0026rsquo;m forced into higher price brackets simply because those are the only devices that offer the baseline accessibility I need to function.\nThis split setup is where the integration tax hits hardest. Because I use an iPhone with a Windows PC, I completely lose the continuity features that come with using a Mac. My workflow is full of friction points:\nMessaging: Integration is clunky and unreliable. It completely breaks for group messages. Notifications: I can see notifications on my PC, but clicking on them doesn\u0026rsquo;t open the corresponding app or provide a seamless experience. Audio Routing: When calls come in, my phone audio sometimes starts playing through my PC speakers unexpectedly. This is disorienting and disruptive. Hardware Gaps: If I answer a call on my PC, the audio routes correctly, but my current desktop setup lacks a microphone to talk back. Clipboard: There\u0026rsquo;s no native way to sync text between my iPhone and Windows PC. Third-party clipboard sync solutions exist, but they are often inaccessible or unreliable. This forces me to manually transfer links or notes using email or cloud storage. File Management: I can\u0026rsquo;t easily access files stored on my PC from my iPhone. I have to use Google Drive as a middleman, which adds extra steps and potential points of failure. App Ecosystem: Many apps I use on my PC don\u0026rsquo;t have iOS versions, and vice versa. This forces me to find alternative tools that may not be as effective or accessible. Voice Assistants: I can\u0026rsquo;t use Siri on my iPhone to control my PC, and I can\u0026rsquo;t use Copilot on my PC to control my iPhone. This lack of cross-device voice control is a missed opportunity for accessibility. Ecosystem Features: I miss out on features like Handoff, Universal Clipboard, and iCloud syncing that would make my workflow smoother if I were fully within the Apple ecosystem. This lack of integration creates a constant friction point in my workflow. I\u0026rsquo;m forced to find workarounds for tasks that should be seamless.\nThe Developer\u0026rsquo;s Compromise (Linux via WSL) #Even though a native Linux desktop is inaccessible to me, I still need Linux. As a developer, working in plain text is highly accessible and efficient. I spend most of my time writing Python and Bash scripts, and the Linux command line is the best place to do that.\nWhen my last PC died, I tried to set up a dedicated Linux machine using a Raspberry Pi running Stormux (based on Arch Linux ARM). It was a failed experiment. Because the accessibility support was so poor, a task that took one step on Windows took ten steps on the Pi. It demanded far too much cognitive energy and physical fatigue, making it a completely unsustainable environment.\nThis is where my Franken-System needs a compromise. Instead of fighting with dedicated Linux hardware, I use Windows Subsystem for Linux (WSL). WSL is the perfect bridge. It allows me to stay inside the accessible Windows desktop environment while giving me full access to the powerful Arch Linux command line tools I need. I get the best parts of Linux without ever having to navigate an inaccessible graphical interface. I can run my Python scripts, use fzf for fuzzy finding, and manage my development environment all within WSL.\nThe AI Barrier #The latest layer of my Franken-System is Artificial Intelligence. AI has the potential to be a massive cognitive prosthetic, helping with everything from word-finding to summarizing complex documents. But even here, the walled gardens are closing in.\nWindows integrates Copilot, but I\u0026rsquo;ve found it lacking in memory and flexibility. There\u0026rsquo;s no way to swap it out for a different AI provider that might better suit my needs. Apple is the same. iOS uses Siri, and if you want more advanced features, your only option is ChatGPT. This lack of choice means I can\u0026rsquo;t tailor my AI assistance to my specific disabilities.\nFurthermore, the AI features that could help me the most (like Recall for memory support or better native text suggestions) are often locked behind specific hardware. On Windows, many of these features require a Copilot+ PC. These devices use ARM-based processors. While these processors are efficient, ARM-based Windows is notorious for poor compatibility with specialized assistive technology. While major screen readers are starting to add support, many of the smaller, specialized tools I rely on simply don\u0026rsquo;t work. I\u0026rsquo;m forced to choose between the cutting-edge AI that could support my neurodivergence and the stable hardware I need just to run my screen reader.\nThe Service Disconnect (Google and Amazon) #The software layer of my setup is just as fragmented. I rely heavily on Google services like Drive, Search, and Gemini. However, I have to run them on Apple hardware because the screen readers on Android and ChromeOS fall short for my needs. Using Google services on an iPhone creates a functional but highly disconnected workflow. I\u0026rsquo;m constantly jumping between apps that were never built to work together.\nThen there is the frustration of voice control. Smart assistants like Amazon Alexa have massive potential to save my physical and cognitive energy. But in reality, current voice assistants punish non-standard speech. If I stumble over a word, pause to think, or speak less clearly due to fatigue, the assistant simply times out or throws an error. A tool that could be life-changing is rendered mostly unusable because it expects me to speak with robotic perfection.\nBecause this system is held together by digital duct tape, it\u0026rsquo;s incredibly fragile. A single update from any one of these companies can break a workaround I have relied on for years. I live in a constant state of low-level anxiety, knowing that my ability to work or communicate depends on companies that don\u0026rsquo;t even know my specific configuration exists.\nConclusion #Maintaining this Franken-System is exhausting. Beyond the technical hurdles, there\u0026rsquo;s a significant cognitive cost to this setup. Switching my brain from the keyboard-driven logic of NVDA on Windows to the touch-based gestures of VoiceOver on iOS is a constant context switch. It adds a layer of mental fatigue that a unified ecosystem would normally eliminate.\nA disabled user should not have to choose between a device they can actually operate and a workflow that integrates smoothly. The tech industry needs to move beyond walled gardens. We need better cross-platform accessibility standards and true interoperability. Until companies prioritize open integration over locking users into a single brand, multiply-disabled people will be forced to keep piecing together our own fragmented solutions just to participate in the digital world.\n","date":"April 4, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/technology/franken-system/","section":"Technology","summary":"\u003ch2 id=\"the-myth-of-the-seamless-ecosystem\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eThe Myth of the Seamless Ecosystem \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#the-myth-of-the-seamless-ecosystem\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe modern tech industry is built on a specific promise: buy into one ecosystem, and your digital life will effortlessly\nsync.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut that convenience is a privilege. When you live with blindness, multi-system chronic illness, neurodivergence, and\ntopographical agnosia (a spatial processing disability that prevents my brain from forming mental maps, making it as\neasy to get lost in a complex software menu as it is on a physical street), brand loyalty is a luxury. You can\u0026rsquo;t choose\na platform simply because it integrates well. You choose a platform because it allows you to function. You have to\nconstantly weigh the cognitive load of one operating system against the screen reader reliability of another.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Building a Franken-System: When Ecosystems Fail Disabled Users"},{"content":"Hi, I\u0026rsquo;m Lanie.\nI\u0026rsquo;m a Christian, a blind, autistic, chronically ill backend learner and accessibility advocate. I provide freelance accessibility, usability, and product feedback from the perspective of someone who relies on assistive technology every day. My work is driven by a desire to make technology more inclusive, practical, and humane. I treat accessibility not just as a technical checkbox, but as a reflection of care, dignity, and faith.\nMy Learning Path #I\u0026rsquo;m a self-paced Computer Science student. Because traditional education often doesn\u0026rsquo;t provide the accessibility and accommodations I need, I\u0026rsquo;ve built my own curriculum around logic, systems, and low-cognitive-load design. My current focus includes:\nComputer Science \u0026amp; Systems: Growing my skills in Python, SQL, backend development, and Linux systems through Boot.dev and hands-on projects. Linux \u0026amp; Tooling: Building fluency with Arch Linux, CLI-driven workflows, and automation tools like chezmoi and uv. Business Systems \u0026amp; Accounting: Learning practical accounting through Ledgeroo so I can better support bookkeeping, software decisions, and financial workflows for Apache Restoration \u0026amp; Design. Theology \u0026amp; History: Exploring broader Christian history and Gnosticism. I value spiritual exploration that looks beyond narrow traditional frameworks to find deeper meaning and historical context. Projects \u0026amp; Roles #My advocacy is rooted in operational support and community participation:\nApache Restoration \u0026amp; Design: I\u0026rsquo;m the IT Manager and Tech Support for my mother\u0026rsquo;s restoration business. I handle software evaluation, systems setup, and operational documentation to keep the business running smoothly. Accessibility, Usability, and Product Feedback: I provide freelance feedback on websites, apps, games, developer tools, and technical workflows. My focus is identifying where products break down for real disabled users, especially people with overlapping access needs. My Philosophy #I value slower, thoughtful problem-solving. In a world of high-velocity tech, I advocate for:\nLow Cognitive Load: Systems that are predictable and don\u0026rsquo;t overwhelm people\u0026rsquo;s nervous systems. Energy-Based Planning: Designing workflows that respect limited physical and cognitive energy. Keyboard-Centricity: Building and using tools that are fully accessible via screen readers (specifically NVDA) and keyboard navigation. Home Base #This site is my public home base. It\u0026rsquo;s intentionally small, updated selectively, and focused on clarity over volume. I spend my free time experimenting with assistive technology, building small tools, loom knitting, and playing deep, text-based automation games like Trimps and Evolve.\nI\u0026rsquo;m especially interested in how overlapping disabilities (blindness, neurodivergence, and chronic illness) interact with technology. My long-term goal is to support or build a nonprofit that recognizes these complexities rather than treating them in isolation.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/about/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eHi, I\u0026rsquo;m Lanie.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m a Christian, a blind, autistic, chronically ill backend learner and accessibility advocate. I provide freelance\naccessibility, usability, and product feedback from the perspective of someone who relies on assistive technology every\nday. My work is driven by a desire to make technology more inclusive, practical, and humane. I treat accessibility not\njust as a technical checkbox, but as a reflection of care, dignity, and faith.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"my-learning-path\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eMy Learning Path \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#my-learning-path\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m a self-paced Computer Science student. Because traditional education often doesn\u0026rsquo;t provide the accessibility and\naccommodations I need, I\u0026rsquo;ve built my own curriculum around logic, systems, and low-cognitive-load design. My current\nfocus includes:\u003c/p\u003e","title":"About Lanie"},{"content":"This page documents my consistent interaction model. My access needs aren\u0026rsquo;t just preferences; they\u0026rsquo;re the framework that makes programming, gaming, and digital life possible for me as a blind, neurodivergent, and chronically ill user.\nWhat Works: The Persistent Text Model #I thrive in systems that are text-first and keyboard-centric. Information has to be persistent so I can process it at my own pace.\nKeyboard-First Interaction: I rely on standard screen reader navigation (NVDA) and command-line interfaces. Explicit State: I need coordinates and structure (e.g., \u0026ldquo;You are at 10, 20\u0026rdquo;) rather than relative directions. Query over Memory: I prefer systems where I can find information (Command Palettes, fzf, tldr, AI) rather than having to memorize a thousand unique shortcuts. Guided Interactivity: I learn by doing with immediate feedback. \u0026ldquo;Go build something\u0026rdquo; without structure doesn\u0026rsquo;t work; I need knowledge checks and guided practice. Step-by-Step Workflows: Breaking complex tasks into small, concrete steps respects my limited cognitive energy. Physical \u0026amp; Ergonomic Constraints #My hardware choices are driven by a need for stability, precision, and less physical fatigue.\nPC over Everything: The desktop PC is my primary tool. The tactile feedback of a physical keyboard and the precision of keyboard-driven navigation are irreplaceable. The Mobile Barrier: I use my iPhone only when I have to. Mobile interfaces are inherently spatial and ephemeral. Holding a device is physically fatiguing, and my coordination makes small touch targets difficult to hit. The \u0026ldquo;Large Screen\u0026rdquo; Fallacy: Devices like tablets or the Echo Show 15 are completely unusable for me. A larger screen often just creates more empty spatial \u0026ldquo;noise\u0026rdquo; and requires more expansive, fatiguing gestures without adding the tactile precision I need. Wearables: Small screens on smartwatches are a hard barrier. The tiny touch targets and requirements for multi-finger gestures are incompatible with my coordination and sensory needs. What Doesn\u0026rsquo;t Work: The Ephemeral Barrier #I struggle with systems that are \u0026ldquo;ephemeral\u0026rdquo; (information that appears once and vanishes) or require spatial processing.\nAudio-Heavy Systems: Audio is ephemeral. If I miss a sound or a voice cue, it\u0026rsquo;s gone. I can\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;reread\u0026rdquo; a sound. Text works better because I can process it as many times as I need. Spatial Navigation: Because of topographical agnosia, I can\u0026rsquo;t build mental maps of 2D or 3D spaces. Real-Time Reactions: My nervous system requires \u0026ldquo;slower, thoughtful problem-solving.\u0026rdquo; I can\u0026rsquo;t use systems that penalize me for taking time to think. Passive Learning: Watching videos or listening to lectures without hands-on interaction leads to zero retention for me. Real-World Examples #Programming \u0026amp; Tooling #This is why I prefer VS Code and the CLI over mobile or web apps. The CLI is a persistent text stream I can query and manipulate. It\u0026rsquo;s also why I focus on Python and Backend Tooling rather than frontend. It\u0026rsquo;s about logic and systems, not visual layouts.\nGaming \u0026amp; Interactive Media # Audiogames: Most \u0026ldquo;blind-accessible\u0026rdquo; games rely on directional audio and spatial awareness. For me, this is sensory overload and provides no persistent information. MUDs (Text Games): I love text-based worlds, but only if they offer coordinates or pathing (like EmpireMUD). If a game requires me to \u0026ldquo;Map the forest\u0026rdquo; in my head, it\u0026rsquo;s a hard barrier. Automation: I enjoy games like Trimps and Evolve because they are menu-driven and allow me to query the state of my systems at any time. For Developers \u0026amp; Testers #If you\u0026rsquo;re building a tool and want to know if it fits this model, ask yourself:\nCan a user find every command without a manual? Is the state of the app queryable via text at any time? Does the user have as much time as they need to make a decision? Is it fully functional via a standard keyboard? (Crucial for avoiding the fatigue of touch/spatial interfaces.) ","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/accessibility-notes/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis page documents my \u003cstrong\u003econsistent interaction model\u003c/strong\u003e. My access needs aren\u0026rsquo;t just preferences; they\u0026rsquo;re the framework\nthat makes programming, gaming, and digital life possible for me as a blind, neurodivergent, and chronically ill user.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"what-works-the-persistent-text-model\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eWhat Works: The Persistent Text Model \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#what-works-the-persistent-text-model\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eI thrive in systems that are \u003cstrong\u003etext-first\u003c/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003ekeyboard-centric\u003c/strong\u003e. Information has to be persistent so I can process\nit at my own pace.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Accessibility Notes"},{"content":"I don\u0026rsquo;t focus on building polished products for show. Most of my work is exploratory, rooted in lived experience, or focused on making systems hold up better in real life. This page highlights my active roles and the technical systems I\u0026rsquo;m currently working through.\nProfessional Usability Testing #I work as a Freelance Accessibility Specialist and Usability Tester. My work includes identifying barriers that automated tools often miss, especially where multiple disabilities overlap.\nMy testing focus includes:\nScreen Reader Logic: Deep testing with NVDA (primary), JAWS, and VoiceOver. Non-Visual Navigation: Ensuring complex web apps and CLI tools are fully keyboard-navigable. Cognitive Load \u0026amp; Sensory Design: Evaluating if interfaces are predictable and respect user energy and focus. Gaming Accessibility: Testing incremental and text-based games for screen reader compatibility and \u0026ldquo;low-pressure\u0026rdquo; playability. Computer Science \u0026amp; Systems #I\u0026rsquo;m currently a self-paced student moving through a Computer Science curriculum. Rather than chasing the latest frontend trends, I focus on the \u0026ldquo;bones\u0026rdquo; of computing:\nProgramming: Working through the Codecademy Computer Science path (currently ~22% complete), with a focus on Python, Lua, and SQL. Linux Mastery: Running Arch Linux via WSL as my primary development environment. Dotfile Management: Using chezmoi to maintain a consistent, accessible CLI environment across Windows and Linux. Environment Tooling: Using uv for Python package management and Docker for isolated service testing. Technical Projects \u0026amp; Advocacy #Operational IT Support #I serve as the IT Manager for Apache Restoration \u0026amp; Design. This isn\u0026rsquo;t just \u0026ldquo;fixing computers.\u0026rdquo; It\u0026rsquo;s about evaluating software, creating accessible operational documentation, and keeping business systems functional for non-technical users.\nThe \u0026ldquo;Bandit\u0026rdquo; Wargames #I\u0026rsquo;m currently working through the OverTheWire Bandit games to sharpen my Bash and security fundamentals in a hands-on, text-based environment.\nCommunity \u0026amp; Advocacy #My work also includes peer support and writing about the intersection of faith, technology, and disability rights. I believe good technology should be an act of care, not just a feat of engineering.\nRepositories \u0026amp; Tracking #If you\u0026rsquo;re interested in the \u0026ldquo;raw\u0026rdquo; side of my learning, you can find my experiments and configurations here:\nGitHub: RareBird15 – My scripts, dotfiles, and learning projects. Code::Stats – A real-time look at the languages I\u0026rsquo;m currently practicing. Featured Projects #Terminal Bible Reader #The Bible Reader is a lightweight, terminal-based workflow for daily scripture reading. It focuses on logic and accessibility rather than visual polish, and it\u0026rsquo;s built for users who prefer text-centric environments.\nCore Functionality #The project turns complex digital formats into a simple, day-by-day terminal interface:\nEPUB Processing: It imports WorldBiblePlans-style EPUBs and converts them into a normalized markdown plan. Modular Content: The system splits full plans into individual files, separating scripture from commentary to allow for focused reading. Progress Tracking: It uses standard Linux (XDG) directories to maintain local state, tracking which day the user is on without cluttering the home folder. Accessibility and Design Philosophy #Accessibility is treated as a core technical requirement, not a cosmetic feature:\nScreen Reader Optimization: Output is formatted as plain, readable text with predictable headings, avoiding decorative ASCII art or color-dependent information. Low Cognitive Load: The design emphasizes clarity and predictability, making it a good fit for users who value humane technology. Keyboard-Centricity: As a CLI tool, it\u0026rsquo;s fully navigable via keyboard, fitting into a streamlined Linux development environment. Integration and Tooling #Built as a modern Python package, it fits directly into a CLI-driven workflow:\nShell Integration: The maybe-read-bible command can be added to shell startup files (like .bashrc), prompting the user to read exactly once per day. State Management: It uses file locking to prevent multiple terminal instances from overwriting progress concurrently. Modern Stack: The project is maintained using tools like uv for dependency management and ruff for code quality. Project Purpose #This tool sits at the intersection of faith and technical systems, prioritizing robust code that serves the user\u0026rsquo;s specific needs over chasing frontend trends.\nLink to Repository # Terminal Bible Reader on GitHub: Explore the code, contribute, or use it for your own daily scripture reading. ","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/work-and-learning/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t focus on building polished products for show. Most of my work is exploratory, rooted in lived experience, or\nfocused on making systems hold up better in real life. This page highlights my active roles and the technical systems\nI\u0026rsquo;m currently working through.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"professional-usability-testing\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eProfessional Usability Testing \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#professional-usability-testing\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eI work as a \u003cstrong\u003eFreelance Accessibility Specialist and Usability Tester\u003c/strong\u003e. My work includes identifying barriers that\nautomated tools often miss, especially where multiple disabilities overlap.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Work and Learning"},{"content":" Content Note: This narrative discusses medical trauma and institutional harm.\nPreface #This is a personal narrative about my experience as a blind, multiply disabled student in a residential school setting. It reflects my lived experience and my understanding as an adult, informed by later medical and psychological evaluations.\nThis account isn\u0026rsquo;t intended as an attack on individual staff members. It\u0026rsquo;s an account of systemic failure, medical misattribution, and institutional decision-making, and of the long-term impact those failures have had on my health, functioning, and sense of safety.\nI\u0026rsquo;m sharing this because these patterns matter, not just for understanding my own life, but because they may still affect other students.\nEarly Experiences and Context #I\u0026rsquo;m blind and grew up in a rural area with limited access to specialized services. Beginning around age six, I attended summer programs at the Texas School for the Blind and Visually Impaired (TSBVI). These programs weren\u0026rsquo;t primarily about instruction for me; I received Braille education and other blindness-related training at home.\nThe summer programs mattered because they provided something else: community. I was around other blind children, in an environment where my blindness was understood and unremarkable. Those experiences were largely positive and didn\u0026rsquo;t cause harm.\nI began attending TSBVI as a full-time residential student for high school at age fourteen.\nHigh School: Early Stability #For the first couple of years of high school, my experience at TSBVI was mostly positive. I lived in a dorm with other students, had structure, and wasn\u0026rsquo;t yet being pushed hard toward adult transition goals or independence benchmarks.\nAt times, expectations felt high or overly rigid, but there were buffers: peer support, routine, and a contained environment. I was able to function within this structure, and I did well academically.\nAt this stage, my needs were consistently framed as blindness-related. Neither I nor my family were given reason to believe that anything else was going on.\nMedical Harm and Misattribution #When I was sixteen, I experienced severe head and eye pain. This was initially ignored and later misdiagnosed as glaucoma once the pain could no longer be dismissed. In reality, I was experiencing idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH), a neurological condition.\nBecause of the misdiagnosis and the intensity of the pain, light sensitivity, and vision changes from one day to the next, I ultimately had my eye surgically removed. After I healed, I returned to school under the assumption, shared by staff, that the medical problem had been resolved.\nIt wasn\u0026rsquo;t.\nThe underlying neurological condition was never properly identified or treated. From that point forward, ongoing pain, neurological symptoms, and reduced tolerance for stress and demand were consistently interpreted as psychological, behavioral, or blindness-related issues.\nTransition Pressure and Collapse #At eighteen, I was placed into the EXIT (Experiences in Transition) program. This was the same year I underwent what I believed at the time was a comprehensive autism evaluation. I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (now referred to as Autism Spectrum Disorder) and the school claimed they had done a full assessment of my needs.\nThe transition program dramatically increased demands related to independence, self-direction, and performance, while reducing supports. I repeatedly communicated that the expectations were too much and that I was struggling physically and cognitively.\nMy body began to collapse under the strain. I developed symptoms consistent with fibromyalgia and severe nervous system overload. Instead of slowing down, reassessing medically, or increasing support, pressure continued.\nThe evaluation done that year didn\u0026rsquo;t include a comprehensive neuropsychological assessment. I later learned that the diagnosis given to me (PDD-NOS) functioned largely as a catch-all. It was treated differently, and with fewer supports, than a full autism diagnosis. The testing approach also mixed child and adult instruments in a way that later evaluators have told me was inappropriate. Neuropsychology should have been involved earlier. This helps explain why many of my needs were missed. As a result, I\u0026rsquo;ve been unable to access appropriate supports. I\u0026rsquo;m now seeking a full reevaluation.\nDespite this, the school treated my difficulties as failures of coping or compliance rather than signs of serious neurological and developmental mismatch.\nWithdrawal of Support and Punitive Actions #After I could no longer meet the EXIT program\u0026rsquo;s demands, I was sent home with no meaningful support in place.\nIn addition to being removed from the program:\nMy valedictorian status was taken away. An assistive technology device (a BrailleNote Apex) that had been provided to me was taken back. Scholarships were withdrawn. I was nearly prevented from returning to walk at graduation; my mother had to fight for me to be allowed to do so the following year. These actions happened even though the evaluation conducted at the time recommended more support, not less.\nThe message I received was clear: once I could no longer perform independence as the school defined it, I was no longer worthy of recognition, resources, or care.\nWhat Was Missed #I was diagnosed as a baby with optic nerve hypoplasia. I didn\u0026rsquo;t learn until adulthood that this diagnosis is commonly associated with septo-optic dysplasia, a condition that warrants neurological and endocrinological evaluation and monitoring.\nNone of this was pursued when I was a child. Neurology and endocrinology were never meaningfully involved. Everything was assumed to be blindness-related. I was my parents\u0026rsquo; first child, so I don\u0026rsquo;t blame them for not knowing better, but the medical system also failed me.\nOnly in my thirties did I begin to understand that many of my lifelong difficulties, including executive dysfunction, fatigue, stress intolerance, and neurological symptoms, were likely not character flaws, motivational failures, or psychological resistance, but the predictable result of untreated neurological and developmental conditions compounded by institutional trauma.\nLong-Term Impact #I\u0026rsquo;m now thirty-four years old. It\u0026rsquo;s 2026.\nI continue to struggle with severe executive dysfunction and task initiation. Efforts toward independence are often met not with empowerment, but with shutdown, because my nervous system learned, repeatedly, that trying harder led to pain, punishment, and loss.\nThis isn\u0026rsquo;t a failure to apply tools or strategies. It\u0026rsquo;s the long-term impact of being pushed beyond capacity, disbelieved, and abandoned at a critical developmental stage.\nWhy I\u0026rsquo;m Sharing This #I\u0026rsquo;m not sharing this to relive the past or to assign individual blame.\nI\u0026rsquo;m sharing it because I\u0026rsquo;m concerned the same framing may still be causing harm: treating blindness as a single-axis explanation and prioritizing independence without enough attention to multiple disabilities, neurological safety, or trauma.\nIf this happened to me, it may be happening to others.\nI believe that blind, multiply disabled students deserve environments that prioritize safety, accurate medical understanding, and definitions of success that include interdependence and support, not punishment for collapse.\nThis is my story. I\u0026rsquo;m still living with its consequences. It doesn\u0026rsquo;t need to be this way for others.\n","date":"January 4, 2026","permalink":"https://lanie.work/advocacy/blind-multiply-disabled/","section":"Advocacy","summary":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContent Note:\u003c/strong\u003e This narrative discusses medical trauma and institutional harm.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"preface\" class=\"relative group\"\u003ePreface \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#preface\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a personal narrative about my experience as a blind, multiply disabled student in a residential school setting.\nIt reflects my lived experience and my understanding as an adult, informed by later medical and psychological\nevaluations.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis account isn\u0026rsquo;t intended as an attack on individual staff members. It\u0026rsquo;s an account of systemic failure, medical\nmisattribution, and institutional decision-making, and of the long-term impact those failures have had on my health,\nfunctioning, and sense of safety.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Blind, Multiply Disabled, and Pushed Beyond Capacity: A Personal Narrative"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/medical-trauma/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Medical-Trauma"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/personal/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Personal"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/categories/education/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Education"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/education/","section":"Education","summary":"","title":"Education"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/education/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Education"},{"content":"Introduction: Why Self-Paced Education Matters #As someone with multiple disabilities, including total blindness, neurodivergence, and chronic health conditions, I\u0026rsquo;ve found that traditional education often fails to accommodate my learning needs. I\u0026rsquo;ve attempted college online four times and community college once in person. Each attempt came with major barriers that made it hard to succeed.\nBarriers included rigid schedules, campuses that required physical navigation and mental mapping, fixed expectations around learning styles, a lack of understanding from educators on how to support diverse needs, and financial aid that was only available if I attended at least half-time. Those obstacles made it clear I needed a different approach to learning, one that actually fit my abilities and circumstances. That\u0026rsquo;s what pushed me toward self-paced education.\nThis is a long-form essay that explores self-paced education, systemic barriers in traditional and online learning, financial constraints, and a vision for more inclusive educational models for multiply disabled learners.\nWhat \u0026ldquo;Self-Paced\u0026rdquo; Really Means #Many people think self-paced education just means learning at your own speed. That\u0026rsquo;s part of it, but real self-paced education is bigger than that. It gives you freedom to choose when, where, and how you learn. It means being able to pick resources and methods that fit your actual needs.\nFor me, this means using a mix of tools and strategies: online courses with flexible deadlines, interactive projects, and assistive technology that works with my blindness and neurodivergence. That includes screen readers and AI tools, which are often treated as a gray area in traditional institutions. Self-paced education also lets me take breaks when I need to, which is crucial for managing chronic health conditions. Ultimately, it\u0026rsquo;s about building a learning environment that\u0026rsquo;s adaptable and responsive instead of forcing the learner to conform to a rigid system.\nAnother key part is finding your own way to learn instead of being confined to a single method that may not suit you. Throughout my attempts at traditional education, I was often expected to learn in ways that didn\u0026rsquo;t work for me, like taking linear notes or keeping up with synchronous online discussions my health made hard to maintain. Self-paced education has given me room to explore different learning styles and find what works best for me, whether that\u0026rsquo;s hands-on projects, untimed quizzes, or text-based materials.\nTraditional education systems often teach in a one-size-fits-all manner, which can be particularly challenging for students with disabilities. Self-paced education allows for a more personalized approach, enabling learners to customize their educational experiences based on their individual strengths and needs.\nPeople with multiple disabilities often need to pause, sometimes for days, weeks, or longer, to recover from health setbacks. Self-paced education accommodates this need, allowing learners to take the time they require without the pressure of falling behind peers. This flexibility is essential for maintaining both physical and mental well-being while pursuing educational goals.\nLearning While Multiply Disabled #Learning while multiply disabled isn\u0026rsquo;t simply the sum of several separate challenges. Disabilities interact with one another in ways that compound difficulty and unpredictability. An accommodation that supports one disability may worsen the impact of another, and systems designed with a single access need in mind often fail when multiple needs are present at the same time. For example, tools that rely heavily on video may exclude blind learners, while fast-paced, discussion-heavy environments can overwhelm neurodivergent learners or those with limited cognitive energy. When chronic illness is added to the mix, the ability to participate consistently becomes even more fragile.\nOne of the most significant barriers multiply disabled learners face is variability. Energy, cognition, pain levels, and sensory tolerance can fluctuate daily or even hourly. Traditional education models tend to treat inconsistency as a lack of effort or commitment, rather than as a natural consequence of disability. Deadlines, attendance requirements, and rigid pacing leave little room for these fluctuations, forcing learners to choose between their health and their education. Over time, this creates burnout, discouragement, and the false belief that learning itself is the problem.\nAnother challenge is that much of education assumes a narrow definition of engagement. Participation is often measured by visible activity: logging in at specific times, speaking in discussions, watching videos in full, or progressing through material at a predetermined rate. For multiply disabled learners, meaningful engagement may look very different. It may involve reading transcripts instead of watching videos, revisiting material multiple times, learning in short bursts, or stepping away entirely during health setbacks. These forms of engagement are no less valid, but they are rarely recognized or supported in traditional settings.\nThe barrier for multiply disabled learners is rarely a lack of ability or motivation. What we lack is educational infrastructure designed for lives marked by complexity, uncertainty, and limited reserves. Self-paced education acknowledges this reality. It creates space for learners to engage when they are able, to pause when they must, and to return without penalty or shame. For multiply disabled people, this isn\u0026rsquo;t a luxury or a preference. It\u0026rsquo;s often the difference between being able to learn at all and being forced to give up.\nWhy Traditional Education Models Fall Short #Conventional education programs are often built around rigid structures that don\u0026rsquo;t accommodate diverse needs. These models typically require students to follow fixed schedules, attend classes in person or at specific times, and complete assignments within strict deadlines. That inflexibility creates major barriers for students who need health breaks, alternative learning methods, or more processing time.\nTraditional education also leans on one-size-fits-all assessments, which disadvantage students who don\u0026rsquo;t fit the standard mold. For example, students with disabilities may struggle with standardized tests or group projects that ignore their needs. A lack of understanding and support from educators can lead to real isolation and frustration.\nEven online education, which is often touted as more accessible, can still fall short. Many online programs maintain rigid deadlines, require synchronous participation, or rely heavily on multimedia content that may not be accessible. When I attended college online, I was given extensions on all assignments except for discussion posts, which were a significant part of the grade.\nWhen I asked disability services about this, I was told discussion posts were considered \u0026ldquo;participation\u0026rdquo; and therefore not eligible for extensions. I had some instructors who were kind enough to give me extensions anyway, but this often left me behind the next week and struggling to catch up. In the end, I had to withdraw from the courses because I simply couldn\u0026rsquo;t maintain the pace while managing my health, and trying to do so was making me physically sicker.\nIn traditional education settings, you also have to prove your disability repeatedly to access accommodations. This process is exhausting and retraumatizing, especially for people with invisible or fluctuating disabilities. Each new course or semester requires fresh documentation and justification, creating a major administrative burden. This constant need to validate your disability pulls energy away from learning and worsens feelings of alienation. It adds another barrier instead of improving access.\nFinancial Barriers and the Cost of Inflexibility #Financial barriers are also a huge part of what blocks multiply disabled learners. Many financial aid programs require students to attend at least half-time to qualify for assistance. This requirement is especially hard for students with multiple disabilities, who may need reduced course loads or to step away entirely to manage their health. The pressure to maintain a certain enrollment status increases stress and worsens health issues, which then hurts academic success.\nEven disability-specific financial aid can come with restrictions that make it hard to access. For example, a scholarship designed for students with disabilities may require full-time enrollment or consistent attendance, which may not be feasible. These limits create a catch-22: students can\u0026rsquo;t access the support they need because of the same barriers they\u0026rsquo;re already dealing with in school. I\u0026rsquo;ve lived this. I often pushed myself to take more classes than I could handle just to keep my financial aid, which led to worse health and academic setbacks.\nThere are vocational rehabilitation programs designed to help people with disabilities get training for in-demand jobs. However, these programs often have strict requirements and limited funding. I\u0026rsquo;ve had to walk away from vocational rehabilitation services multiple times because they failed to consider all of my disabilities, spoke down to me, or insisted I could only receive help if I attended a state college full-time, an impossible requirement for me.\nWhat Has Helped Me Learn Anyway #Even with all the barriers I\u0026rsquo;ve faced in traditional settings, I\u0026rsquo;ve found ways to keep learning. Self-paced education has been the biggest reason I could keep going. By choosing courses and programs with flexibility in scheduling and pacing, I\u0026rsquo;ve been able to shape my learning around my needs.\nI now learn using a combination of platforms like Codecademy and Exercism, while mastering my own systems with Arch Linux, Python, and CLI-driven workflows. I\u0026rsquo;m also exploring broader Christian history and Gnosticism at my own pace. These resources let me learn, take breaks when needed, and revisit material as often as necessary. I\u0026rsquo;ve also found that project-based learning and hands-on work help me retain information far better than lecture-based methods.\nAnother strategy that has helped me is giving myself permission not to take notes, something I struggled with in traditional settings. I used to feel pressured to take detailed notes during lectures or readings, which often led to cognitive overload and fatigue. Now, I focus on understanding the material during my initial exposure and rely on revisiting the content later if needed.\nNotes pose several challenges for me as a blind, neurodivergent learner. Typing notes can be time-consuming and distracting, taking my focus away from understanding the content. I used to spend more time trying to summarize and organize my notes than actually learning. Also, reviewing notes later can be overwhelming; I often find myself getting lost in my own documents, making it difficult to extract key information. By letting go of the expectation to take notes, I\u0026rsquo;ve been able to focus purely on comprehension and retention.\nFinally, AI tools have changed my learning process. These tools help me generate summaries, explain complex concepts, and provide alternate explanations when I struggle to grasp a topic. AI has become a useful resource, helping me work around barriers traditional methods couldn\u0026rsquo;t address.\nThe Value of Self-Paced Education #Self-paced education has been a game-changer for me. It gives me the flexibility and autonomy I need to handle my specific barriers. By letting me learn at my own pace, take breaks when necessary, and choose methods that work for me, self-paced education has helped me take control of my learning. This approach has improved my academic progress and boosted my confidence and motivation.\nHowever, charting your own educational path comes with real hurdles. It requires a lot of self-discipline and time-management skills, which can be difficult to maintain during health fluctuations. Also, the lack of structured interaction with peers and instructors can lead to feelings of isolation.\nAnother invisible burden of self-paced learning is the complete absence of a disability services office. In traditional settings, there\u0026rsquo;s at least a framework on paper for requesting accommodations. In self-directed learning, if a course, platform, or tool is inaccessible, the responsibility falls entirely on the learner. I\u0026rsquo;m left to either engineer my own accessibility workarounds or abandon the resource and find an alternative. This constant need to self-advocate and troubleshoot drains the very energy reserves that self-paced learning is meant to protect.\nDespite these hurdles, the benefits still outweigh the drawbacks for learners like me. Self-paced education offers personalization that traditional models simply can\u0026rsquo;t provide. Unfortunately, it\u0026rsquo;s often viewed as less legitimate by employers and society at large. This stigma results in fewer student resources, discounts, and financial aid options, alongside less recognition for the credentials earned.\nA Vision for Something Better #While self-paced education has been central to my journey, there\u0026rsquo;s still a lot of work to do to create a truly inclusive educational landscape. I envision a future where educational institutions and programs are designed with flexibility and accessibility at their core, rather than as afterthoughts. This includes offering a variety of learning formats, assessment methods, and support services tailored to diverse needs.\nI also hope to see greater recognition of self-paced education by employers and society, which would help reduce stigma and improve access to resources for people on non-traditional paths. By advocating for systemic changes and building awareness, we can create an environment that actually supports people in reaching their potential.\nThat same inclusivity must extend to how financial support is structured. I envision scholarships and financial aid models that don\u0026rsquo;t require full-time or even half-time enrollment to be considered valid. Learning shouldn\u0026rsquo;t be contingent on a student\u0026rsquo;s ability to maintain a specific pace, especially when that pace may be incompatible with their health or disabilities. Financial support should recognize intent, effort, and persistence over time, rather than enforcing rigid enrollment thresholds. When funding accommodates reduced course loads, pauses, and nonlinear progress, more learners are able to continue sustainably instead of being forced out by systems that equate speed with seriousness.\nClosing Thoughts #Navigating education as a multiply disabled learner is deeply complex. Because traditional models have so often failed to accommodate my needs, I\u0026rsquo;ve fully embraced self-paced learning. Through this model, I\u0026rsquo;ve been able to build an educational experience that aligns with my abilities and circumstances.\nWhile this autonomous approach takes significant effort to maintain, it offers a level of flexibility that traditional models can\u0026rsquo;t match. As we look to the future, it\u0026rsquo;s essential to advocate for inclusive and accessible systems that recognize and support diverse learner needs. By doing so, we can create a more equitable educational landscape for everyone. This isn\u0026rsquo;t about doing more or moving faster. It\u0026rsquo;s about making learning possible, sustainable, and humane.\n","date":"December 21, 2025","permalink":"https://lanie.work/education/self-paced-education/","section":"Education","summary":"\u003ch2 id=\"introduction-why-self-paced-education-matters\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eIntroduction: Why Self-Paced Education Matters \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#introduction-why-self-paced-education-matters\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs someone with multiple disabilities, including total blindness, neurodivergence, and chronic health conditions, I\u0026rsquo;ve\nfound that traditional education often fails to accommodate my learning needs. I\u0026rsquo;ve attempted college online four times\nand community college once in person. Each attempt came with major barriers that made it hard to succeed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBarriers included rigid schedules, campuses that required physical navigation and mental mapping, fixed expectations\naround learning styles, a lack of understanding from educators on how to support diverse needs, and financial aid that\nwas only available if I attended at least half-time. Those obstacles made it clear I needed a different approach to\nlearning, one that actually fit my abilities and circumstances. That\u0026rsquo;s what pushed me toward self-paced education.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Case for Self-Paced Education"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/categories/gaming/","section":"Categories","summary":"","title":"Gaming"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/gaming/","section":"Gaming","summary":"","title":"Gaming"},{"content":"","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/tags/gaming/","section":"Tags","summary":"","title":"Gaming"},{"content":"Gaming has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. From puzzles as a child to text-based adventures in school, games have always been a place of joy, challenge, and escape.\nAs a blind, neurodivergent, and chronically ill woman, finding games I can actually play and enjoy has become increasingly difficult. This post is for other disabled gamers, accessibility advocates, and developers who want to understand what accessibility looks like in practice, not just in theory.\nWhy Accessibility Is More than Screen Readers #Accessibility isn\u0026rsquo;t just about adding text-to-speech or ARIA labels. For a multiply disabled player, it\u0026rsquo;s about the overlap of:\nCognitive Load: Can I process the information without sensory overwhelm? Pace and Pressure: Does the game penalize me for my reaction time or fatigue? Information Persistence: Is the data available as text I can reread, or is it audio that vanishes once played? The Games That Work for Me #My current gaming rotation is small and intentional. I favor systems that behave like structured documents rather than spatial environments.\nIncremental and Idle Games #Games like Trimps and Evolve are my \u0026ldquo;gold standard.\u0026rdquo; They work because they:\nHave no \u0026ldquo;fail states\u0026rdquo; based on speed. Are entirely menu-driven, making them highly predictable for NVDA. Allow for deep optimization and planning without the need for visual maps or graphs. MUDs (Multi-User Dungeons) #I enjoy the concept of MUDs, but they\u0026rsquo;re often exhausting in practice. Because I have topographical agnosia, room-based navigation is a major barrier. Unless a MUD provides explicit coordinates or a dirs command to show me exactly where to go, I spend more energy trying not to get lost than I do playing the game.\nWhat Makes a Game Accessible for Me #A game can be \u0026ldquo;technically\u0026rdquo; accessible (meaning my screen reader can see the buttons) and still be unplayable if it overwhelms my nervous system. Features that consistently matter:\nUntimed Gameplay: The freedom to walk away or think for ten minutes without being penalized. Minimal Audio Clutter: The ability to mute background layers while keeping essential feedback. Keyboard-Only Interaction: No reliance on \u0026ldquo;Canvas\u0026rdquo; or mouse-coordinate-based clicking. Persistent Text: The ability to scroll back through a buffer to re-read what just happened. Why Finding New Games Is a Struggle #Many games recommended for \u0026ldquo;blind players\u0026rdquo; rely heavily on audio navigation or spatial awareness. For my neurodivergent profile, directional audio is often just sensory noise. It doesn\u0026rsquo;t help me build a mental map.\nOn the indie side, many developers use Unity or WebGL without exposing the UI to the accessibility tree. I\u0026rsquo;ve lost count of how many times I\u0026rsquo;ve bought a game only to discover that every button is an unlabeled \u0026ldquo;Canvas\u0026rdquo; element that my screen reader ignores.\nFinal Thoughts #Gaming is still deeply meaningful to me, but only when developers recognize that accessibility isn\u0026rsquo;t one-size-fits-all. For multiply disabled players, accessibility means flexibility, respect for energy limits, and the freedom to play slowly and on our own terms.\n","date":"December 8, 2024","permalink":"https://lanie.work/gaming/blind-neurodivergent-gamer/","section":"Gaming","summary":"\u003cp\u003eGaming has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. From puzzles as a child to text-based adventures in\nschool, games have always been a place of joy, challenge, and escape.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs a blind, neurodivergent, and chronically ill woman, finding games I can actually play and enjoy has become\nincreasingly difficult. This post is for other disabled gamers, accessibility advocates, and developers who want to\nunderstand what accessibility looks like in practice, not just in theory.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What It's Like Gaming as a Blind, Neurodivergent, Chronically Ill Woman"},{"content":"The best way to reach me is through the contact form below or on Mastodon.\nBecause I manage my life and work using energy-based planning, I\u0026rsquo;m selective about my commitments and may take a few days to respond. I value clear, direct, thoughtful communication.\nWhere to Find Me # Mastodon: @RareBird15@allovertheplace.ca: My main social home base for accessibility advocacy and tech talk. Facebook: RareBirdLanie: Where I share visual updates and community posts. Professional: LinkedIn or GitHub. Communication Preferences #To respect my cognitive load and access needs:\nText over Voice: I don\u0026rsquo;t do well with voice calls or \u0026ldquo;ephemeral\u0026rdquo; audio. Please send a text-based message so I can process it at my own pace. Explicit Context: When reaching out, please be clear about your intent. \u0026ldquo;Query over memory\u0026rdquo; applies here too. I appreciate subject lines that tell me exactly what the message is about. Accessibility First: If you\u0026rsquo;re reaching out for feedback on a project, please include a link to your project or documentation so I can evaluate whether it fits my interaction model. Send a Message # Name: Email Address: Subject: Leave this field blank Message: Submit Message\nThank you for respecting my time and energy.\n","date":null,"permalink":"https://lanie.work/contact/","section":"Home","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe best way to reach me is through the \u003cstrong\u003econtact form\u003c/strong\u003e below or on \u003cstrong\u003eMastodon\u003c/strong\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause I manage my life and work using \u003cstrong\u003eenergy-based planning\u003c/strong\u003e, I\u0026rsquo;m selective about my commitments and may take a few\ndays to respond. I value clear, direct, thoughtful communication.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"where-to-find-me\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eWhere to Find Me \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#where-to-find-me\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMastodon:\u003c/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https://allovertheplace.ca/@RareBird15\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer\"\u003e@RareBird15@allovertheplace.ca\u003c/a\u003e: My main social home base for\naccessibility advocacy and tech talk.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFacebook:\u003c/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/RareBirdLanie/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer\"\u003eRareBirdLanie\u003c/a\u003e: Where I share visual updates and community\nposts.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessional:\u003c/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https://www.linkedin.com/in/laniecarmelo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer\"\u003eLinkedIn\u003c/a\u003e or \u003ca href=\"https://github.com/RareBird15\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer\"\u003eGitHub\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"communication-preferences\" class=\"relative group\"\u003eCommunication Preferences \u003cspan class=\"absolute top-0 w-6 transition-opacity opacity-0 -start-6 not-prose group-hover:opacity-100\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group-hover:text-primary-300 dark:group-hover:text-neutral-700\" style=\"text-decoration-line: none !important;\" href=\"#communication-preferences\" aria-label=\"Anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo respect my cognitive load and access needs:\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Contact"}]